10 Best and 3 Worst Baby Shower Gifts Ever

Newsletter 2021-05-23

My brother, Harry, is having a baby. Or, more accurately, his wife is. Like all husbands, Harry was pretty much useless after the first thirty seconds of the process. Speaking of useless people, I’d like to think I played a small role in their decision to have a child. For the last two years, it’s just been the three of them: Harry, Karen, and the seven-foot-tall taxidermy bear in a tuxedo I gave them as a wedding present. If life is good with two people and one apex predator, it has to be even better with two people, one apex predator, and a baby. I single-handedly kick started that family. It’s a wonder more people don’t ask me to be the best man at their weddings. I just need some lead time to find and dress the right dead animal.

Today’s newsletter, however, isn’t about reliving the glory of the bear (although that will be a secondary theme of everything I write from now until the day I die). Instead, it’s about baby showers. Like most first time parents, Harry and Karen had a part…