A Pig in the Wall

Newsletter 2021-11-15

Pigs can’t use door knobs. That, along with their general lack of thumbs, is all that’s stopping them from taking over this house. While I appreciate the lack of a swine insurrection, it would be nice if our two pet pigs, Gilly and Luna, could close doors behind them. That would cut down on drafts. Instead, we have to rely on doggy doors with rubber flaps, which are less than effective at keeping out the cold. Not that that stopped me from trying. This week, I set about winterizing all of our pig entry points, which isn’t a project you’ll ever see on HGTV for some reason. It’s like they don’t know how actual people really live. And by “actual people,” I mean only me.

Unlike most normal houses, mine has a pig room. It used to be my office. The fact that I gave up the space where I write books so my pigs would have a place to nap tells you everything you need to know about my priorities. Full disclosure, I also moved my desk out of there to make room for a beer fridge. I’m adulting so ha…