But as for tracking, I’m 66 and my daughter is 37 and we share our locations. It’s super for when you know they are on their way you can see for timing purposes. She keeps an eye on me to make sure I’m not forgetting to go lol. Also if I decide to do something on my own or my best friend and I travel - she makes sure we get back home. So I guess my point is as an adult it can benefit both ways. I have no interest in tracking her as she goes about her life but as a mom of three, it’s typically CVS, the grocery store or the park.
I just love your writing. Just want you to know that I would be a paid subscriber if not for the fact that my only college-age child is bankrupting me for the near future.
The only person I would find tracking to be helpful is Mr.P. However, just like Billy in "Family Circus", he tends to get sidetracked. A trip to the hardware store for one item ends up being 10 or more trips which include other stores and anything interesting along the way. If the tracking drew a map, it would look like Billy's trips in the cartoon "Family Circus". I try to get mad but he always finds something fun or needed or unique to bring home. He definitely needs to hire out as a personal shopper.
I went to NYC a few years ago and stayed near Times Square. I think the only way I survived was going with my more competent friend whose refrain throughout the trip was 'eyes on me!' I also went to the Met, MOMA and Morgan library and saw the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island ferry. A less pleasant cultural experience was seeing a guy shoot up on the subway.
My sister used to skip ballet to go to the library...not sure how well that was received. I almost got locked in there once because I was so engrossed in my book I didn't hear the bell! This was in the nineties so pre-tracking, for better or for worse. My parents only had two kids to track, although I'm sure we were still exhausting!
Tracking two without cell phones is probably harder than tracking four of them with phones. You could have ended up anywhere. It's a miracle any of us from that era survived.
The buddy system works. As long as there's at least one person who knows where you are, you're in good hands. Unless those hands are mine. Then it's a toss-up.
This was hilarious. Thank you, James. We all need to laugh at the absurdities of our affluent and needlessly stressful lives. Like you, I was a free-range kid. My mother had a secret life. I don't know what the heck she did with her time while I was negotiating toy rationing in the sandbox. When I started first grade, I asked her if she'd be lonesome without me. Surprisingly, she said, with a strange little smile, no, she'd cope somehow. Here's to free-range kids liberating their parents.
Be my guest. I like it too. It's not my phrase though. It's a parenting label that's controversial in the U.S. these days. Helicopter parents vs. free-range. Parents have actually been prosecuted for child neglect for allowing their children to walk unattended more than a block from home. No wonder this country's going to hell.
My 22 yr old still has her tracker on for me. She goes to uni and still lives at home, but says that knowing I can find her if I need to gives her some comfort. I hate that it’s something she’s concerned about these days, but also glad I’m still the ‘go to’ for that, at least.
Again, I love the blend of humour & seriousness in this piece. There are genuinely good reasons to have tracking, even in adulthood. And once they're adults you've got to balance that with a respect for their privacy. I would say 21+ and once they're in a serious relationship but I wouldn't have a person I'm not married to tracking me.
The serious relationship thing is probably where the kids would draw the line. There may be a day when they don't want me to know who's dorm/apartment/house they're really staying at most of the time. I imagine they'll be with someone for a while before they bring them home to introduce them. I'm a lot.
I don’t know whether it’s still playing but I wish Betsy’s crew could have seen Come from Away instead of Gatsby. I loathe Gatsby as a book, would never pay to see the musical. Talk about corruption and debauchery! We get that on the news. CfA would have been a lovely redemptive balance to 9/11 Memorial, which is one of the most moving experiences I’ve ever had.
That's a great connection. I did that with my granddaughter recently. CfA (it was playing in Phoenix) and then the 9/11 memorial. Sadly, it's not playing in NYC at the moment.
Welp! Im in that stage of life where I track my whole family AND across platforms. Got my dad and sister in Google Maps because Android and my mom in Find my because IPhone. Funniest thing? Im the one living in another country 3000miles away! But… it is what it is… im quite literally Big Sister.
Both my children are in their 40's. My daughter is married with 3 step daughters and one full son. The girls are adults and my grandson hasn't talked anyone into getting him a phone yet. He might even have one now if his mom didn't teach on the same campus where he goes to school. He really would like a phone but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Sometimes I think it might be nice to be tracked, occasionally I even lose myself. I told my daughter after she had given me the same information three times, that I keep using the wrong filing cabinet in my brain to store the information she sends me.
My son is easy, he's either at home or in the car going someplace. The car has it's own tracking system, it's easy to track, plus it tells you if you forgot to lock the doors when you leave the car. It also tracks the mileage and tells when it's time to take it in for servicing. I think I'd rather track the car instead of my family.
GPS spoofing in Dubai is currently giving us some world-class #MapFail moments. (Hello, conflict!) If you miss a turn there, even without GPS spoofing, you practically have to drive to Saudi Arabia to find a U-turn. And last week, with the spoofing, Google Maps insisted I was mid-ocean. I had to do a literal double-take to ensure I was still on freeway terra firma.
I’ve temporarily moved my kids to India to escape the anxiety of what world leaders might do in the Middle East next (a huge shout-out to the UAE leadership for their protection, and no I was not paid to say that!), and I’ve entered a new level of driving madness. Here, signals are merely decorations, and seatbelts are optional, yet everyone has a psychic sense of when to stop.
Coming from South Africa, I thought I was prepared. We drive well, but we have a golden rule. Always let the minibus taxis do whatever they want unless you're looking for a Heat-inspired car chase. New country, new chaos. It turns out survival instincts aren't one-size-fits-all on the world’s roads.
Location sharing is the BEST! I’m in France at the moment and my kid lives in DC and was in Vienna for 5 months last semester. She has traveled all over the globe and I can always check and see exactly where she is! Wonderful technology. When I was abroad in college I called my parents from a pay phone once every 2 weeks (it was expensive!). I can’t imagine!
My daughter is a brilliant widow. When her teens are out of her sight, they know them must send her a proof of life photo every hour. It must show a different environment that the previous picture they sent her. All done through text on their phones. I would recommend this to children that have elderly parents. We allow the kids to track us. The highlight of my daughter's life is tracking me when I am at a casino.
Ha! 1984 is unfolding as we speak…
But as for tracking, I’m 66 and my daughter is 37 and we share our locations. It’s super for when you know they are on their way you can see for timing purposes. She keeps an eye on me to make sure I’m not forgetting to go lol. Also if I decide to do something on my own or my best friend and I travel - she makes sure we get back home. So I guess my point is as an adult it can benefit both ways. I have no interest in tracking her as she goes about her life but as a mom of three, it’s typically CVS, the grocery store or the park.
That's interesting. Perhaps the surveillance never ends. Before long, the kids will be needing to check up on me.
Exactly. By the time they are independent adults you will be…well, do the math. 😉
Who needs big brother in the sky when ya got good ole Dad.
I just love your writing. Just want you to know that I would be a paid subscriber if not for the fact that my only college-age child is bankrupting me for the near future.
As someone who is about to be bankrupted by four kids going to college, I get it! Thanks for reading.
Trust me, the splurge is so worth it. Helps me survive my week smiling!
As soon as I see my kid with her cap and gown, I definitely will!😊
The only person I would find tracking to be helpful is Mr.P. However, just like Billy in "Family Circus", he tends to get sidetracked. A trip to the hardware store for one item ends up being 10 or more trips which include other stores and anything interesting along the way. If the tracking drew a map, it would look like Billy's trips in the cartoon "Family Circus". I try to get mad but he always finds something fun or needed or unique to bring home. He definitely needs to hire out as a personal shopper.
As long as he returns home with a cool treasure - or a cool story - it's all worth it. I used to love those comic strips with the crazy dotted line.
"Strange Gourd" would be a great band name.
The parody version of Smashing Pumpkins.
I went to NYC a few years ago and stayed near Times Square. I think the only way I survived was going with my more competent friend whose refrain throughout the trip was 'eyes on me!' I also went to the Met, MOMA and Morgan library and saw the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island ferry. A less pleasant cultural experience was seeing a guy shoot up on the subway.
My sister used to skip ballet to go to the library...not sure how well that was received. I almost got locked in there once because I was so engrossed in my book I didn't hear the bell! This was in the nineties so pre-tracking, for better or for worse. My parents only had two kids to track, although I'm sure we were still exhausting!
Tracking two without cell phones is probably harder than tracking four of them with phones. You could have ended up anywhere. It's a miracle any of us from that era survived.
My daughter and I track each other. She's 38 and I'm.....not. But for two single women on their own, it just makes sense.
The buddy system works. As long as there's at least one person who knows where you are, you're in good hands. Unless those hands are mine. Then it's a toss-up.
This was hilarious. Thank you, James. We all need to laugh at the absurdities of our affluent and needlessly stressful lives. Like you, I was a free-range kid. My mother had a secret life. I don't know what the heck she did with her time while I was negotiating toy rationing in the sandbox. When I started first grade, I asked her if she'd be lonesome without me. Surprisingly, she said, with a strange little smile, no, she'd cope somehow. Here's to free-range kids liberating their parents.
The best thing I ever did as a kid was make my parents not miss me too much when I left. If I had been more loveable, they would have been devestated.
Free-range kid!!!!! JAJAJAJAJAJA STEALING AND USING FOREVER!
Be my guest. I like it too. It's not my phrase though. It's a parenting label that's controversial in the U.S. these days. Helicopter parents vs. free-range. Parents have actually been prosecuted for child neglect for allowing their children to walk unattended more than a block from home. No wonder this country's going to hell.
😱😱😱😱
My 22 yr old still has her tracker on for me. She goes to uni and still lives at home, but says that knowing I can find her if I need to gives her some comfort. I hate that it’s something she’s concerned about these days, but also glad I’m still the ‘go to’ for that, at least.
It's good to know there's someone checking up on you. I feel the same reassurance knowing Lola can find me. A real adult has my back.
You are a modern day Dave Barry, James.
Again, I love the blend of humour & seriousness in this piece. There are genuinely good reasons to have tracking, even in adulthood. And once they're adults you've got to balance that with a respect for their privacy. I would say 21+ and once they're in a serious relationship but I wouldn't have a person I'm not married to tracking me.
The serious relationship thing is probably where the kids would draw the line. There may be a day when they don't want me to know who's dorm/apartment/house they're really staying at most of the time. I imagine they'll be with someone for a while before they bring them home to introduce them. I'm a lot.
"Modern day?" Dave Barry is still writing. He's on Substack. Unless Wikipedia has said he's died again. 🙄
I don’t know whether it’s still playing but I wish Betsy’s crew could have seen Come from Away instead of Gatsby. I loathe Gatsby as a book, would never pay to see the musical. Talk about corruption and debauchery! We get that on the news. CfA would have been a lovely redemptive balance to 9/11 Memorial, which is one of the most moving experiences I’ve ever had.
That's a great connection. I did that with my granddaughter recently. CfA (it was playing in Phoenix) and then the 9/11 memorial. Sadly, it's not playing in NYC at the moment.
Welp! Im in that stage of life where I track my whole family AND across platforms. Got my dad and sister in Google Maps because Android and my mom in Find my because IPhone. Funniest thing? Im the one living in another country 3000miles away! But… it is what it is… im quite literally Big Sister.
Both my children are in their 40's. My daughter is married with 3 step daughters and one full son. The girls are adults and my grandson hasn't talked anyone into getting him a phone yet. He might even have one now if his mom didn't teach on the same campus where he goes to school. He really would like a phone but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Sometimes I think it might be nice to be tracked, occasionally I even lose myself. I told my daughter after she had given me the same information three times, that I keep using the wrong filing cabinet in my brain to store the information she sends me.
My son is easy, he's either at home or in the car going someplace. The car has it's own tracking system, it's easy to track, plus it tells you if you forgot to lock the doors when you leave the car. It also tracks the mileage and tells when it's time to take it in for servicing. I think I'd rather track the car instead of my family.
That's fair. Cars are expensive. I can make kids for free, although Lola might not think they're quite so easy to replace.
GPS spoofing in Dubai is currently giving us some world-class #MapFail moments. (Hello, conflict!) If you miss a turn there, even without GPS spoofing, you practically have to drive to Saudi Arabia to find a U-turn. And last week, with the spoofing, Google Maps insisted I was mid-ocean. I had to do a literal double-take to ensure I was still on freeway terra firma.
I’ve temporarily moved my kids to India to escape the anxiety of what world leaders might do in the Middle East next (a huge shout-out to the UAE leadership for their protection, and no I was not paid to say that!), and I’ve entered a new level of driving madness. Here, signals are merely decorations, and seatbelts are optional, yet everyone has a psychic sense of when to stop.
Coming from South Africa, I thought I was prepared. We drive well, but we have a golden rule. Always let the minibus taxis do whatever they want unless you're looking for a Heat-inspired car chase. New country, new chaos. It turns out survival instincts aren't one-size-fits-all on the world’s roads.
Location sharing is the BEST! I’m in France at the moment and my kid lives in DC and was in Vienna for 5 months last semester. She has traveled all over the globe and I can always check and see exactly where she is! Wonderful technology. When I was abroad in college I called my parents from a pay phone once every 2 weeks (it was expensive!). I can’t imagine!
My daughter is a brilliant widow. When her teens are out of her sight, they know them must send her a proof of life photo every hour. It must show a different environment that the previous picture they sent her. All done through text on their phones. I would recommend this to children that have elderly parents. We allow the kids to track us. The highlight of my daughter's life is tracking me when I am at a casino.