I Bought Another Animal

Newsletter 2022-05-03

I joined a martial arts class. That sentence probably confuses you as much as it confused my wife when I first told her. I've never been in a fight or anything remotely resembling one. In fact, the only athletic skill I have, long distance running, allows me to flee danger, albeit at a slow and steady pace. With a little time, I could be miles away from any threat, assuming the threat wasn’t too fast right out of the gate. Like most kids, growing up, my greatest fear was cheetahs.

Now I’m too old and tired to run away from danger, so I decided it was time to learn to stand and fight. Not really. I mean, the old and tired part is true, but I’m no more likely to stand and fight now than I ever was. I have no interest in going toe-to-toe with a fast savanna cat. The real reason I enrolled in a martial arts class was to get out of the house and interact with other adults (The word “other” implies I’m also an adult, so I’ll need you to suspend your disbelief here.). Lacking social skills, I…