I Dug Too Deep

Newsletter 2021-04-25

When the dwarves dug too deep, all they ran into was a balrog. I found something far worse: more dirt. Seriously, that stuff goes all the way down to the earth’s molten core. I didn’t get quite that far, but I was close. Such are the challenges of being a homeowner embarking on a modest yard work project. I’m building a small retaining wall that will fix an erosion issue and improve the curb appeal of my house to make it look like an actual adult lives here. I believe in lying through landscaping. My greatest fear when starting this project was that it would spiral out of control and consume my entire spring and summer. I'm happy to report that, two weeks in, that’s exactly what’s happening. Even when I’m miserable, I like being right. Luckily, I have a huge source of free labor to draw from. Over the past fourteen days, I’ve exploited my kids to the fullest. This is the tale of how I used four elementary-school-aged children to complete tasks better left for forklifts and heavy earth…