I Got a Second Pig (And Lived to Talk About It)

Newsletter 2022-11-19

Sometimes a man just needs a pig. And sometimes he needs two.

It's no secret that I have long wanted a second pig, which would mean twice the joy and fulfillment of single-swine ownership. My wife, however, has always been less enthusiastic about the prospect of two pigs, and by “less enthusiastic,” I mean if I brought home a second pig, she would smother me in my sleep. While I focus on the good when it comes to pigs, Lola focuses on the rest. Pigs are a lot like children: They’re strong-willed and too smart for their own good. Also, they track in a lot of mud. Lola has had enough of small living things making a mess in her house. We’re lucky she hasn’t made us all sleep in the yard.

It was especially hard to convince Lola that we needed two pigs when she already knew what it’s like to own one. Gilly, who shall now forever be known as a our FIRST pig, is incredibly intelligent. She understands almost everything I say. She just chooses to ignore it. She does what she wants to do, and if…