I Ruined the Stove

Newsletter 2021-03-29

It all started with jello.

I’m of two minds when it comes to sugar. On one hand, it basically raised me. In my teenage years, I would often eat half a tray of brownies first thing in the morning, which is the real breakfast of champions. Back then, anything I put in my body was converted directly into height. By early high school, I was 6’2” with a body fat percentage of approximately zero. You might think that’s impossible, but when I turned sideways, I was invisible. Clearly sugar didn’t hold me back, at least not until my twenties, when my metabolism shut down and even seeing a picture of a cookie would make me gain five pounds. Those eye calories are deadly.

On the other hand, almost every piece of current scientific literature about refined sugar says the white stuff is bad for you. You can argue whether the ideal amount of sugar in your diet is “some” or “none,” but most people agree that, in general, less is better than more. Yet, if I try to limit my kids’ sugar intake, I feel l…