Kids vs. the Cheese Grater

Newsletter 2021-04-05

My kids were off school all week for spring break. Obviously this was a crisis situation. Children are best enjoyed in small doses from a safe distance. Remote parenting should be a thing. Instead, my wife Lola and I did the opposite and took the week off work to spend more time with them. It’s like the past ten years of raising kids have taught us nothing. Our plan was to go on a series of small trips to keep the whole family occupied all week. That wasn’t my first choice. Originally, I considered going on one big trip, preferably to some place warm where we could swim outside. But it turns out that places with good weather in late March are both expensive and far away. No amount of fun will ever justify a twelve-hour car ride with four kids. Honestly, no amount of fun could justify even a five-minute car ride. It’s a shame it’s no longer an option to send children by mail.

Our first destination was an indoor water park. You might recall that we went to one of those in the fall. My ki…