Star Wars Forever

Newsletter 2018-05-07

I feel a special kinship with everyone on this email list. This is my smallest audience on all of social media, but it’s also my best—although my judgment might be clouded by nostalgia. The very first comedy article I ever wrote was just an email I sent to two friends in high school. Later, I expanded that email list to about 20 people and sent them periodic comedy articles, whether they wanted them or not. None of those people from 16 years ago are on this current email list, if you wondered about my long-term retention rate. Hopefully you’ll still be with me 16 years from now, but who knows? You might have standards.

Last week I emailed you about problems I was having with my phone. I expected a lengthy repair ordeal, but one of you emailed me back and said I just needed to clean dust out my aux jack. It took me less time to fix the problem than it did for me to complain about it, but I’m a comedy writer. I’ll keep on complaining about life in general since that’s all I’ve got. But t…