Worst. Delay. Ever.

Newsletter 2018-06-26

Apparently this newsletter actually has an audience because a ton of people asked me where it was Monday morning. And by a ton of people, I mean four. That means each of those people weighs exactly 500 pounds. Or 226.79 kilograms if you only get jokes in metric.

The delay, like everything else in my life, was not my fault. I spent Sunday in Chicago shooting an ad for a company that I can only assume hired me by accident. If they had actually seen my previous video work, they would have moved on to someone more qualified to speak on camera, like a mime. But they made the offer, and I gladly accepted, mainly because it was an ironclad excuse to leave the house in the midst of potty training. While I was gone, Lola cleaned up what she described as the Poopocalypse. She almost had to burn down the house. That ad shoot spared me death by toddler turds. I probably should have been the one paying them.

I’m always amazed when I do a video with actual professionals rather than in front of a webc…