Never Going Home Again

Newsletter 2018-07-23

My wife and I are off work for a week. Well, that's not true. Our most important job is the never-ending struggle to keep our kids alive. That's not true, either. My most important job is tweeting about how I keep my kids alive. My wife's most important job is to roll her eyes when I constantly tweet. We have a healthy relationship. Really.

We ended up with two multi-day functions on opposite ends of the week and decided to just take off the whole week in between. We figured it would be a great chance to spend extra time with our family. That's the start of what we in the parenting business call a really bad idea. When you have kids, the only real vacation is spending time away from them. For example: a day job, extended military service, isolation on a distant planet, or death. Spending a week driving four kids around the Midwest is the exact opposite of a vacation. But we did it anyway because taking our kids on the road for seven days was better than giving them seven full days to d…