Out of Waffle's Mouth

Newsletter 2019-07-21

Most summers, I’m reluctant to get in my minivan because the seats are hot. This summer, I can’t get in because my van melted. I think I saw it slowly seeping into a storm drain. I hope Hondas are biodegradable. If you live in the northern hemisphere, you’ve likely noticed it’s been unbearably hot outside this week. Hopefully, you only read about the heat wave while staying safely inside in air conditioning. If you actually went outside and experienced the heat first hand, you’re not reading this right now because you burst into flames. Don’t worry. I’ll continue sending this newsletter to your unattended inbox until your next of kin unsubscribes.

To avoid the heat, my wife Lola and I have been focusing on indoor activities this week. That's a lie. We always focus on indoor activities because the great outdoors is awful. Now we just have an excuse for why. Saturday night, we had a movie night. In theory, movie nights are a way to get the kids in their pajamas a few hours early and calm…