The Best Reason to Marry

Newsletter 2020-08-09

Some marry for money. Some marry for love. And some marry for free handyman services from their father-in-law. I married for the latter (and also for love, if Lola asks). Lola’s dad, Bob, can fix anything and regularly does so because he thinks it’s fun and also because he doesn’t have anything better to do. Please, nobody tell him about Netflix. I’m the opposite in every way. I don’t enjoy fixing stuff, and I’m also extremely bad at it. Those two facts are likely related. The only thing I’m good at when it comes to home improvement projects is ignoring things that are obviously wrong. I can look past peeling wallpaper or cracked drywall for months without ever noticing. It’s practically a superpower. But finally, after two years of aggressively pretending my house wasn’t falling apart, I couldn’t procrastinate any longer. It was time to tackle my never-ending to-do list. And by “tackle,” I mean “ask someone else to do it.” I called in Bob.

The day of projects started before Bob even s…