The Big Bear Reveal [BEAR SAGA CLIMAX]

Newsletter 2019-08-05

After months of build-up and thousands of words of suspense, there's only one thing everyone wants to know: My skin care routine. Mostly, it's just soap—on a good day. Sometimes, my wife Lola sprays me off with a hose. There’s a fine line between basic hygiene and aquatic assault.

But I suppose some of you also want to know what happened with the bear. Saturday was the big day when all the scheming and intrigue finally came to a head. For those of you who are getting here at the very end of the story, like someone who skipped all the Marvel movies and watched the last two minutes of Avengers: Endgame to get the gist of it, here’s a brief rundown of what you’ve missed. My brother Harry is getting married, and I’ve been working to deliver a giant taxidermy bear as a joke wedding gift. It’s an idea Harry came up with years ago that we’ve never had a chance to properly implement. I’m doing it now half because Harry deserves it and half because massive omnivores at inappropriate places are …