The Dishwasher War

Newsletter 2023-11-16

I’m at war with a dishwasher.

We absolutely depend on that appliance. Without it, filthy bowls, plates, and cups would pile up and threaten to bury us alive. Yes, we could wash everything by hand, but that’s way too labor intensive. If there’s one thing I don’t need in this house, it’s even more work. We have enough chores already without roleplaying as feudal peasants who have to hand wash everything. Hand washing isn’t even effective. Splashing these plates with a little soap and water won’t actually get them clean, even if all the visible food particles are gone. I need to hit them with 10,000-degree steam before I even consider eating off of them again. Have you seen how my kids eat? They don’t so much consume food as explode it. Unless my dishes go through a dishwasher, they should be considered single-use only, which is unfortunate since Fiestaware is considerably more expensive than paper plates. The dishwasher is the most valuable member of my family, and it knows it. That’s why it was so devastating when it attacked.