The Final Showdown

Newsletter 2022-04-04

Captain Ahab had his white whale. Dan Marino had the Super Bowl. I had Trivia Night.

For years, the ultimate prize had eluded me. A group in my hometown parish hosts an annual adults-only trivia contest in the gymnasium of the Catholic grade school I attended from third to eighth grade. My parents always assembled a team, which included my siblings and me when we were finally old enough. On paper, we had a stacked roster. Between the six of us who have graduated high school (kid number seven is only fourteen because, when you’re Catholic, new children just sort of pop up whenever), we have four high school valedictorians, one salutatorian, and one third place finish that may or may not have been deliberate because my brother Harry didn’t want to give a speech. There were two full rides to college, one full ride to law school, and one college valedictorian speech written the night before graduation after attending an open bar, which is how you make the local nightly news for talking to …