The Never-Ending Blanket Fort

Newsletter 2020-04-06

I always thought my parenting standards were as low as they could get. Then the pandemic hit. It turns out I didn’t know the true meaning of “bare minimum parenting” until I was locked inside with my kids for a third straight week. Standards are for people who leave the house.

Blanket forts, which were previously a special event, are now a permanent feature here. I helped the kids build one that could withstand repeated use and pig attacks. It was easily sturdier than anything I’ve ever built out of wood, although that says more about my carpentry skills than the blanket fort. The kids slept in the fort three nights in a row this week, which was fine with me and my wife, Lola, because it just meant we didn’t have to make their beds as often. It also put them one floor farther away from our own bedroom, which gave us that much more of a buffer between us and their screaming. Of course, their screams can permeate all known materials, so the sounds still get to us, just at a slightly lowe…