The Record Herd of Children

Newsletter 2019-06-10

My wife's grandparents celebrated their seventieth anniversary this weekend. Their party fell on the same day as my favorite race of the year, which just so happens to have unlimited free beer at the afterparty. It was tempting, but I skipped the race and attended the anniversary party of my own free will. Or so my wife tells me.

The anniversary party was three and a half hours away, which was just far enough to qualify as a proper road trip. That meant packing. We needed extra outfits since the kids couldn't be trusted to wear their fancy clothes during the drive there without staining them every color of the rainbow. If you let a child wear it long enough, any shirt is a tie dye shirt. Besides packing extra clothes, we also needed snacks. On a normal day, we can easily go three and a half hours without eating, but in a moving vehicle, we all have to eat candy every ten minutes or we’ll die. We also had to pack a lunch because we weren’t stopping on the way. Getting the kids in and ou…