The Third Pig

Newsletter 2021-02-28

“Did you see that pig someone is looking to rehome on Facebook?” Lola asked.

My wife should have known better than to bring that up. It was like going up to a recovering drug addict and saying, “Did you hear about the guy giving away free crack?” I had not, in fact, seen the post, but I immediately looked it up. It was in a private group set up for people who had bought/traded tweets for a mini pig from a certain southern Indiana breeder. To be clear, my wife didn’t expect me to actually try to get the pig. Sometimes she just points out things that are interesting under the mistaken belief I’m an adult with a basic level of self-control. It’s like we’ve never met. In Lola’s defense, I’ve been adamant for quite a while now that two pigs are plenty. Indiana has five seasons—spring, summer, fall, winter, and mud—and it’s that last one that eight tiny hooves are currently tracking into my house. Adding four more hooves to that count would be the most irresponsible thing I could do. Which w…