The Ultimate Couples Activity

Newsletter 2020-07-26

For some things, the sequel is better than the original. Quarantine is not one of them. After weeks of opening up, much of the country is un-opening, leaving my normally empty social calendar somehow even emptier than usual. This weekend, I needed a way to entertain myself without human contact. Luckily, I’ve been training for this my entire life. That’s why I own an Xbox.

Everybody has those projects they mean to get around to some day. I have wall art that’s remained unhung for months because I haven’t walked to the basement to get a drill and a screw. I have sections of plaster ceiling I’ve needed to repair ever since my last contractor revealed he took finishing our renovation about as seriously as George R.R. Martin takes finishing his next book. But chief among my unfinished projects is a game I paid for but never played. At least not the single player. I bought [Halo 5] in 2015 on launch day, and, while I’ve wasted entirely too much of my life in the multiplayer mode, I never ev…