The Wedding That Almost Wasn't

Newsletter 2020-03-25

Today (Sunday) is our whirlwind trip to St. Louis for a ten-person wedding under quarantine conditions. Since I won’t have time to write a sprawling newsletter when I get home, I’m recording my observations throughout the day. These are the events as they happened, lightly edited after the fact for grammar (if you’re lucky). I left everything in Eastern Time, even though we switched to Central Time when we entered Illinois. I’m not adding or subtracting an hour as I cross arbitrary borders. Math is the gateway drug to disappointment.

5:41 a.m. The kids are screaming at each other. I ask them what's going on. They’re getting dressed. That seems like a solo activity to me, but apparently it requires getting in each other’s faces and making irate chimpanzee noises.

5:54 a.m. My wife Lola asks when I plan to get out of bed. She always gets ready too early. She started her morning preparations last Tuesday.

5:58 a.m. I get out of bed. This is a mistake. I’m still hungover from an extremely mo…