The Worst Christmas Tradition

Newsletter 2020-11-29

If it's not needlessly inconvenient, it's not really a family tradition. Friday, we put up our Christmas tree. We have an artificial one because real plant life has no place around me given my track record with the lawn. I’m lucky our plastic tree doesn’t wilt. The kids were obsessed with adorning the tree with shiny trinkets, even knowing that, in a month, we’ll have to repeat the entire process in reverse. Well, in a month if we’re lucky. If I’m feeling particularly unmotivated, the tree might stick around until March. Why do I go through all this trouble every year, especially when it’s possible to have a perfectly good holiday season without one? Word on the street is that Amazon Prime will deliver Christmas presents to your house, regardless of if you have decorations up or not. The reason I go through all of this unnecessary effort, of course, is that it’s for my kids. That’s the unfortunate logic that justifies nearly every illogical behavior in my life.

At least Christmas has g…