What I Got Away With During a Bridal Shower

Newsletter 2020-05-03

For months, I’ve wanted to look less terrible, but I was going about it all wrong. I didn’t need to get in shape or dress better. I just needed to be farther away. For me, the proper social distance is on the other side of a computer screen. That’s why this quarantine has been so good for my life. In the last few months, nearly all of my human interactions have been virtual. My laptop camera doesn’t have a light, which leaves me shrouded in darkness like I’m an anonymous source on Dateline. I’ve never looked better. Sexiest man alive award, here I come.

The most surprising thing about doing everything remotely now is just how un-surprising it’s been. I’ve been edging out direct human contact from my life for years. This pandemic was just the final push across the finish line. It was easy enough to move school and work online, but now special events are there as well. My friends Virginia and Winston are getting married. I picked them as the godparents for my oldest daughter. Virginia an…