What Really Happened with the Horses

Newsletter 2019-10-06

My kids are dangerous enough on two legs. You don't want to see what they can do on four. Or six, since when they’re on a horse, they don’t lose their original two legs. Let’s just start this email over. Elementary school math has never been my strong suit.

I know a guy with horses. Normally, I’m blocked from contact with such people by iron gates and security guys in golf carts. Nobody uses horses to work farms or fight wars anymore. Now they’re just an expensive form of recreation. They’re basically ATVs that poop. But my friend, Thomas, is far from rich. He's a retired military guy who did twenty years on a sub before starting a second career where he still works full time. He bought a horse a few years ago to keep his daughter happy. That’s how he discovered horses are like Pringles: You can’t have just one. Now he has half a dozen, give or take a horse. They keep moving around, so they’re hard to count. Thomas lives in a subdivision, so he keeps his horses at a boarding facility j…