What the Appraiser Said

Newsletter 2019-12-15

Last week, I told you that my wife, Lola, and I were thinking about buying a massive house that was only in our price range because it had a few key defects, like ugly bathrooms and a missing floor. Whether or not we could buy it depended on if we could get our money back out of our current house, which we just renovated. Rather than assuming our house is priceless like the child art I slyly throw away every day, I hired an appraiser to give me a real number. He looked at our house the Thursday before last and told me he would get back to me soon, kicking off an excruciating waiting period where our entire future hung on the final determination he would email to me at an unknown date and time. What did he say?

Nothing.

At least at first. When I hired him, he acted like the appraisal would take no time at all, so I paid him up front in full. This is always, always a bad idea, yet somehow I make this mistake every time. Something in my brain tells me I should treat professionals like prof…