When Waffle Attacks

Newsletter 2022-05-03

There's been a  rash of major injuries at my kids’ school near but not directly involving my kids. Allegedly. The “innocent until proven guilty” system has its flaws. This week, my six-year-old, Lucy, excitedly told me how she saw her friend break his arm when he fell off the monkey bars. A few days before that, my ten-year-old, Betsy told me how her teacher tripped over a doorstop and broke her nose and a rib. In both cases, my kids were right next to the accident but didn’t cause it. Then again, they also say they’re not involved when they’re right next to injuries that happen at home. I won’t be going on the monkey bars or walking near any door stops just in case.

The door stop incident was especially concerning. As far as cover stories go, I put it in the same category as weather balloons at Roswell, but Betsy swears her version of events is true. Her class was coming in from recess when her teacher tripped over the door stop, the one and only object in the entire hallway. That act…