51 Comments

You wouldn’t be parent shaming, you’d be holding an adult accountable for irresponsible behavior. Frankly what happened is appalling.

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I think we're all pretty much on the same page. It's awful that any kid had to go through that.

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I’ve always believed this but now I post it as a public declaration: Lola is a saint 😇.

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I've known that for a long time. She has to be to put up with me.

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That other mom, to put it nicely, is an idiot. Lola is so kind! What a great teaching lesson for all the girls! Hopefully in the far future, Augusta will get to pick her mother’s nursing home.

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I'd like to think this was a wake up call for her mother, but somehow I doubt it.

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I keep thinking how the child may well have some struggles later (or even now) with hoarding or stashing food etc bc the parent isn’t reliable.

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That is absolutely horrible! God bless your wife for not letting the mom have it right then and there. I was in a similar situation last year at a horse back riding event for our Girl Scout Troop. I’m neurotically early for everything and arrived at the stables about 20 minutes before the scheduled arrival time. The event was about 30-35 minutes from where everyone lived so it wasn’t right around the corner. At about 9:50am, ten minutes before start time, one of the leaders called to tell me she was going to be about 10 minutes late, not a big deal since we had been texting back and forth earlier and on of the girls she was bringing got to her house much later than she was suppose to be there. When 10am rolled around the other troop leader had not arrived yet and was not answering calls. Even though most parents were still there the staff at the stables couldn’t start the event unless 2 troop leaders were there. The first leader arrived when she said she’d be there and got the girls to the barn area as quickly as possible. The other leader was still MiA. At 10:30, we finally got the staff to start their presentation with the understanding that if the other troop leader didn’t arrive the girls would not be able to interact with the horses. (Liability reasons) at 10:45, the other leader finally answered her phone and said she was on her way and would be there by 11, blaming her daughter for their lateness by telling everyone she overslept. She finally arrived at 11:10, strolling up to the barn as if she had all day.

Now, I did not call her out in front of everyone that day, I wanted to, but my husband stopped me.

Unfortunately, this became a huge habit of hers over the past year and I finally had enough and called her out on her lateness to meetings, cancelling at the last minute when the girls were in school and not easily reached to tell them to get on the bus and not stay for a meeting, and her complete lack of preparation. Two weeks ago she was asked to leave as a leader. She was not happy about it, which I don’t understand since it seemed to be such a burden on her.

Just goes to prove there are lots of people who care nothing about those around them!

Glad the birthday girl was still able to enjoy her party!

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Having an irresponsible Scout leader like that sounds like an even worse situation than we dealt with. You have to deal with that over and over again. For us, at least, this was a one-off. Poor Augusta, it's another matter.

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Steam is coming out of my ears! How could that parent do such a thing? I am chronically late and yes, I’m sure I’ve dropped off or picked my kids/grandkids late … by 10 minutes!! My heart breaks for Augusta - I hope she and Betsy will stay good friends and you can sometimes be available for her. After all, what’s one more?

Sending Augusta a big virtual hug and also one for Lola who does deserve sainthood.

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There's a big difference between 10 minutes late and 2 hours late. We've all been a little bit late here and there. Two hours late should never happen if you actually intend to show up.

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James, you are married to a saint

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oh wow, Lola is a trooper!!

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I feel for Augusta. My mother was also late for everything, especially school pick up. Her motto was "ten minutes late is on time for meee" my answer to that was to get my driver's license at the first possible moment and start driving myself places.

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The ability to drive is a wonderful thing. It does nothing but solve problems.

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A couple of parents at my work seem to have that motto too… oh well, overtime for me

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Wow.

I don't even drop off adults, without making sure they get into their house, car...safely... let alone dropping off kids AND the mother with the new hairdo? Just unbelievable.

You wife is in the 'normal" Mom category, unlike these "abby normal" Mom's!

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You'd think more people would take Lola's approach, yet here we are.

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That poor child.

Even if there had not been a party planned and other children involved, it is irresponsible to leave a 14 year old home alone without the ability to contact a responsible adult. Don't get me wrong, I was regularly babysitting my younger siblings by age 14 in the pre-cell-phone era, and I don't buy the "things were safer back then" excuse. (Statistically, they weren't.) I didn't always have a way to reach my parents.... but one grandmother lived 5 blocks away, and the other one 30 minutes away by car. I could call either of them, or my aunt, and we knew at least some of our neighbors well enough to call on in an emergency.

Of course I don't know for sure, but this poor girl sounds like she had no one to call. That's not even safe. What if she'd had a medical emergency? I mean, there's always 911, but no kid that age should be put in a place where that is her ONLY recourse.

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I agree. There's no point having a cell phone if you're never going to answer it when your kid calls.

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Agreed. The limits of leaving a child are much older if they can't reach an adult somehow.

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You married up, hands down. Lola needs to be “Best Mom on the Entire Planet” for at least a day. She stayed with the chaos and confusion for a day, so . . .

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Very true. After all the cash she deals with back home, she was well prepared.

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Poor Augusta! I hope someone DOES bring this to her horrible mother’s attention and enough peer shaming occurs that she gets it through her well coiffed but empty skull that she needs to do better. Good job you, Lola and Father In Law.

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I feel like the mother has to know how hurtful this is. She must just not care.

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Augusta’s mom sounds like a narcissist. She doesn’t care and is a bad parent and human. No reasonable person would be that inconsiderate about people’s time, especially that many people at once! Chronic lateness and inability to care and thinking a two hour delay on a party is ok when it’s not ‘scheduled’ with attendees until AFTER the original start time is an example. Poor Augusta!

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Classic narcissist

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The mother is clearly a narcissist. The number one priority on her agenda that day was her hair appointment. She was more important than her daughter, her daughter's feelings, her daughter's friends, and their parents. The very fact that she couldn't even be bothered to plan her own child's birthday party speaks volumes. And according to Augusta, this is normal behavior for her mom and not an anomaly. People like that don't change because they truly believe everything and everyone in the world is supposed to revolve around them. I hope Augusta can find a good therapist when she leaves to go off to college. 💔😞

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Lola is a saint.

I helped chaperone my son's band on a trip, and the parents were told to pick up their child by 6 PM. The band director's son was in a school play and he was afraid he would miss it, so I volunteered to wait until all the kids were picked up. One student was calling his parents over and over, and someone finally showed up at 7:20. I do not understand parents like that.

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They must lack some critical empathy gene. I hate it when I'm even a few minutes late to get my kids.

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Same!

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Years ago when I was a student council sponsor we had a huge student talent show as a fundraiser. The night went well and the evening wrapped up around 11:30. By midnight most of the kids had been picked up, except one kid. He didn’t have a cell phone, so we let him use the phone in my classroom. After several tries, the kid finally got thru to parents. They were sound asleep and not particularly happy about being awakened. By now it is after midnight. We lock up the building and wait with the student for parent to show up. They finally got there around 1:15 am. The parents did not so much as acknowledge the two teachers who had stayed with their kid until they could arrive. By the time I got home it was almost 3am.

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That's terrible! Some people truly are the worst.

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Wow, Augusta went through a lot. I admire how she managed to get through all of that! I wouldn't find the courage to organise everything at her age. Hats off to Lola, who once again has shown she's a Saint!

Being so late for your own party must be terrible, but I don't know the feeling first-hand, since the biggest delay I had happened on my tenth bday. I had it in a temporary amusement park touring the country and staying on shopping malls' car parks and the delay was below fifteen minutes late, thus basically nonexistent (plus my earliest arriving friends were similarly late and arrived around the same time as me with parents).

As for organizing the out-of-town activities, your transportation rule wasn't applied one time at the end of my third grade, when my parents agreed to host a farewell party for my homeroom teacher in our backyard and scarp garden. They got all my classmates to have at least one of their parents present for the entirety of the party and we had a blast. There was a campfire, music, performances of poetry created by us, songs and puns, and some fathers even joined a football/soccer game on the pitch marked by my dad (and with the goals of his production that were made) just a couple of days prior. He played with us and had good time, as his ligaments injury happened a year later.

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That party sounds like a very good time. Nothing better than a campfire on a hill.

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I'm traumatized for Augusta :-(. I feel like sending Lola another bottle of wine, she most definitely has earned it!!

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