After 77 years of hosting thanksgiving and Christmas, trying to please everyone means no one is grateful and actually feel they should be slothful in order to prove they are not happy. Yes, they all had a choice. This year as a true introvert I will host nothing. I feel giddy at the thought. Sending Visa cards to the grandkids is so easy that it makes me jump over the moon.
I will spend the holidays in peace, painting, long walks on the beach with husband and dog. I can’t wait. 💙
So glad I subscribed to your newsletter on Substack. Left Twitter this week when I saw all the layoffs and nonsense. Thanks for the advice! I hope your writing becomes wildly successful.
I loved this whole newsletter. It also brought a tear to my eye. Mom and Dad are gone, siblings all live in many different states a thousand miles apart and we haven't been all together for 10 years and that was for Mom's funeral. I feel blessed to have had all those many holidays together but sad to know they'll never happen again. I'd give anything to eat my mom' s homemade yeast rolls and watch the old family movies that broke a dozen times and us groaning until Dad spliced it back together again. The time we 4 siblings enjoyed together and the kids/cousins playing were worth the day and time negotiations, driving times, etc. Enjoy these get togethers, James, (as I know you do) because one day they are gone. Sigh.
12/31 yet to be a serial killer but its sounding very good, I get less gifts as people "forget" my birthday or just combine them... I buy myself gifts, but its not the same.
You are correct, it's not the same. Don't give up on yourself, the presents you buy for yourself are at least something you like and/or want, that's better than most presents.
Stop complaining, my nephew's is 12/26 ;o) When he was little his mom tried to have us celebrate in July, actually a good idea, but it didn't take long to fizzle out.
I quit twitter around the last election. I hated what I saw. All the nastinesses. If I want that I’ll talk to my youngest or oldest. Right now I’m on facebook because I’m one of the older ones who watches their classmates die off one by one. Once upon a time it was Livejournal (then my ex found it and that’s another story.). Your, so far, the only sub I have. That sounded wrong but you know what I mean. I love your FB posts and books and decided what the heck and signed up here. I think, as a reward, we faithful should be given your real name though. Just a thought. As for holidays, I come from a time when people didn’t live far and I had a huge family. Holidays were, well, you put it well. Most of us moved and with the kids grown up and mostly gone it’s too much to gather now. Plus I’m an introvert who is fine with messenger. LOL. My husbands family, who mostly live here, use to get together for Christmas and it was really great but pop’s passed and now everyone’s extended family is so big we dropped it. Anyways, you got it in the header, Christmas is a sham. We’re doing it different this year. No big presents. No getting up early. No expectations. If they’re lucky they’ll get a tree. Maybe. I’m the only one who puts it up.
First: “As usual, kids ruin everything.” -- umm, except Halloween?? You couldn’t possibly have gotten 50 lbs of candy without Betsy’s inspiration to run! And the door-knocking skills of all 4 girls!
Second: I’m with you on the annoying nature of Christmas and Thanksgiving being celebrated at the same time for everyone. Sadly, I don’t know of any good solution. And ham isn’t it - blech!
Third: I hope you’re not going to pay Elon’s $8 a month. We’ll still find you (although I’m barely on Twitter - I LOVE catching most everything from you here.
Fourth: Congrats on the success of your Substack account! That’s great news for you!
A close friend and his extended family has never celebrated Christmas on the 25th. The family all decided to buy gifts during the after Christmas sales and get together on New Years Day for the get together and gift exchange. Kind of half way between Christmas and Epiphany and it works for them.
Unlike most people in the universe, when the govt shut down society I stopped using Twitter and Instagram. I don't even do FB unless I have a newsflash for close friends and family. Email and texting have become my way of communicating. When my parents needed to move out of their home due to dementia and poor health our holiday gatherings ended. It was my house or not at all. I revolted and my children and sibling are happy.
It's a great drawing of you! We used to tell my sister that we were getting together on Christmas 2 hours early - so she'd make it on time. NEVER ONCE did she make it on time! She just loves an entrance!
👋🏻 I live a bit over two hours from my state’s capital city and 20 minutes, give or take, from a reasonable size town. Don’t ask me how many ks that is, most Australians measure distances in time also. How else do you know when to leave? Same for Kiwis I’m told.
Fascinating to see how others celebrate events. Xmas (we don’t have thanksgiving) seems much more laid back here. A drive around to see if any houses have lights a couple of nights before, pressies in the morning, lunch and / or dinner with the rellies on the day, down to the shack/beach/campsite/pool for the rest of the holidays. Back to work on the first or second week of January for many of us.
Hope everyone who celebrates, whatever it is, has a good one, and best to everyone else
James.... For a student not paying attention and listening to your words in class, he paid attention to your body actions....the cartoon character looks just like you 😉.
I host family holidays as well and enjoy it. I just tell the kids/grandkids whoever can make it show up...this is the day we're having the meal.
PS... My son has a birthday December 23rd and hates it 😡
The family of hubby’s long time friend, let’s call him Tony, came up with an excellent way to fix the holiday rush. Life was fine until Tony and his brothers grew up and moved out. Then adding in marriage and babies, you know the drill all to well. Their fix was to invent a new holiday, Thankmas. It combines two holidays into one and because it’s flexible as to when, no traffic, no crowded airports. They make a Turkey, open gifts and just enjoy the day.
What I love about the Substack of yours, is that it's a perfect niche, where everybody can have a good fun reading your content and discover similarities and differences with others in the comments. I'm so happy that I found it and became paid subscriber - my best financial decision in a long time. I don't use Twitter that much, so it won't be a problem for me if you decide to disappear from it & other social media (maybe except YouTube, I like those videos), as long as there are frequent posts onSubstack and it's accessible outside the US. Regarding Christmas family gatherings, all of my relatives live within 1.5 hour ride, so it's not a problem to see each other several times a year - and I love it so much.
I'm glad you found me here, too. Everybody is nice in these comments. The extra step of having to subscribe screens out most of the trolls. As for the distance, 1.5 hours is practically the same thing as living next door these days. Well done.
I had wondered how this whole Twitter debacle was going to affect you. I haven't been on Twitter (or Instagram) in years, and keep up with you on Facebook and through your newsletters. To be perfectly honest, I don't feel like I have missed anything by going that route. Just be sure to let us know if you leave Facebook for any reason!
Once my Maternal Grandpa died when I was 4 we NEVER went anywhere Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, except for church. This was my mom’s thing. Dad would have liked to see his family and they lived closer, but…no.
The whole Twitter thing is idiocy! And since I don’t belong to any social media sites, it’s not something I need worry about, thank god! But I would not pay $8 a month to be on Twitter. That is sooooooo stupid.
After 77 years of hosting thanksgiving and Christmas, trying to please everyone means no one is grateful and actually feel they should be slothful in order to prove they are not happy. Yes, they all had a choice. This year as a true introvert I will host nothing. I feel giddy at the thought. Sending Visa cards to the grandkids is so easy that it makes me jump over the moon.
I will spend the holidays in peace, painting, long walks on the beach with husband and dog. I can’t wait. 💙
You have mastered the holidays and ascended to a higher plane of being. Well done.
So glad I subscribed to your newsletter on Substack. Left Twitter this week when I saw all the layoffs and nonsense. Thanks for the advice! I hope your writing becomes wildly successful.
I loved this whole newsletter. It also brought a tear to my eye. Mom and Dad are gone, siblings all live in many different states a thousand miles apart and we haven't been all together for 10 years and that was for Mom's funeral. I feel blessed to have had all those many holidays together but sad to know they'll never happen again. I'd give anything to eat my mom' s homemade yeast rolls and watch the old family movies that broke a dozen times and us groaning until Dad spliced it back together again. The time we 4 siblings enjoyed together and the kids/cousins playing were worth the day and time negotiations, driving times, etc. Enjoy these get togethers, James, (as I know you do) because one day they are gone. Sigh.
Family time is precious and should be treated as a gift... because it is a gift from God.
Wow! Good drawing of you! That guy should do portraits!
I can totally confirm, my birthday is 12/14 and totally identify as a serial killer!
The good news is people will make all kinds of documentaries about you.
12/31 yet to be a serial killer but its sounding very good, I get less gifts as people "forget" my birthday or just combine them... I buy myself gifts, but its not the same.
You are correct, it's not the same. Don't give up on yourself, the presents you buy for yourself are at least something you like and/or want, that's better than most presents.
Very true. But they aren’t free. That’s the best thing about gifts.
Stop complaining, my nephew's is 12/26 ;o) When he was little his mom tried to have us celebrate in July, actually a good idea, but it didn't take long to fizzle out.
I quit twitter around the last election. I hated what I saw. All the nastinesses. If I want that I’ll talk to my youngest or oldest. Right now I’m on facebook because I’m one of the older ones who watches their classmates die off one by one. Once upon a time it was Livejournal (then my ex found it and that’s another story.). Your, so far, the only sub I have. That sounded wrong but you know what I mean. I love your FB posts and books and decided what the heck and signed up here. I think, as a reward, we faithful should be given your real name though. Just a thought. As for holidays, I come from a time when people didn’t live far and I had a huge family. Holidays were, well, you put it well. Most of us moved and with the kids grown up and mostly gone it’s too much to gather now. Plus I’m an introvert who is fine with messenger. LOL. My husbands family, who mostly live here, use to get together for Christmas and it was really great but pop’s passed and now everyone’s extended family is so big we dropped it. Anyways, you got it in the header, Christmas is a sham. We’re doing it different this year. No big presents. No getting up early. No expectations. If they’re lucky they’ll get a tree. Maybe. I’m the only one who puts it up.
I’m amazed at the small percentage you get for your books😔😬….This newsletter was super informative.
Oh my gosh, so much to unpack here...
First: “As usual, kids ruin everything.” -- umm, except Halloween?? You couldn’t possibly have gotten 50 lbs of candy without Betsy’s inspiration to run! And the door-knocking skills of all 4 girls!
Second: I’m with you on the annoying nature of Christmas and Thanksgiving being celebrated at the same time for everyone. Sadly, I don’t know of any good solution. And ham isn’t it - blech!
Third: I hope you’re not going to pay Elon’s $8 a month. We’ll still find you (although I’m barely on Twitter - I LOVE catching most everything from you here.
Fourth: Congrats on the success of your Substack account! That’s great news for you!
A close friend and his extended family has never celebrated Christmas on the 25th. The family all decided to buy gifts during the after Christmas sales and get together on New Years Day for the get together and gift exchange. Kind of half way between Christmas and Epiphany and it works for them.
Unlike most people in the universe, when the govt shut down society I stopped using Twitter and Instagram. I don't even do FB unless I have a newsflash for close friends and family. Email and texting have become my way of communicating. When my parents needed to move out of their home due to dementia and poor health our holiday gatherings ended. It was my house or not at all. I revolted and my children and sibling are happy.
It's a great drawing of you! We used to tell my sister that we were getting together on Christmas 2 hours early - so she'd make it on time. NEVER ONCE did she make it on time! She just loves an entrance!
👋🏻 I live a bit over two hours from my state’s capital city and 20 minutes, give or take, from a reasonable size town. Don’t ask me how many ks that is, most Australians measure distances in time also. How else do you know when to leave? Same for Kiwis I’m told.
Fascinating to see how others celebrate events. Xmas (we don’t have thanksgiving) seems much more laid back here. A drive around to see if any houses have lights a couple of nights before, pressies in the morning, lunch and / or dinner with the rellies on the day, down to the shack/beach/campsite/pool for the rest of the holidays. Back to work on the first or second week of January for many of us.
Hope everyone who celebrates, whatever it is, has a good one, and best to everyone else
James.... For a student not paying attention and listening to your words in class, he paid attention to your body actions....the cartoon character looks just like you 😉.
I host family holidays as well and enjoy it. I just tell the kids/grandkids whoever can make it show up...this is the day we're having the meal.
PS... My son has a birthday December 23rd and hates it 😡
The family of hubby’s long time friend, let’s call him Tony, came up with an excellent way to fix the holiday rush. Life was fine until Tony and his brothers grew up and moved out. Then adding in marriage and babies, you know the drill all to well. Their fix was to invent a new holiday, Thankmas. It combines two holidays into one and because it’s flexible as to when, no traffic, no crowded airports. They make a Turkey, open gifts and just enjoy the day.
What I love about the Substack of yours, is that it's a perfect niche, where everybody can have a good fun reading your content and discover similarities and differences with others in the comments. I'm so happy that I found it and became paid subscriber - my best financial decision in a long time. I don't use Twitter that much, so it won't be a problem for me if you decide to disappear from it & other social media (maybe except YouTube, I like those videos), as long as there are frequent posts onSubstack and it's accessible outside the US. Regarding Christmas family gatherings, all of my relatives live within 1.5 hour ride, so it's not a problem to see each other several times a year - and I love it so much.
I'm glad you found me here, too. Everybody is nice in these comments. The extra step of having to subscribe screens out most of the trolls. As for the distance, 1.5 hours is practically the same thing as living next door these days. Well done.
I had wondered how this whole Twitter debacle was going to affect you. I haven't been on Twitter (or Instagram) in years, and keep up with you on Facebook and through your newsletters. To be perfectly honest, I don't feel like I have missed anything by going that route. Just be sure to let us know if you leave Facebook for any reason!
Once my Maternal Grandpa died when I was 4 we NEVER went anywhere Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, except for church. This was my mom’s thing. Dad would have liked to see his family and they lived closer, but…no.
The whole Twitter thing is idiocy! And since I don’t belong to any social media sites, it’s not something I need worry about, thank god! But I would not pay $8 a month to be on Twitter. That is sooooooo stupid.