I’ll see your dropping right lanes and raise you left ones. This is a regular pattern in both NC and NY, the two states in which I drive the most. Also, why do some highway exits split for opposite directions on the surface streets while others have two exits, before and after an overpass, one for each direction. This is confusing and can lead to long drives in the wrong direction before finding a legal place for a U-turn.
For many years I drove my parents 4 hours to the beach every year. Except for us it was 5 hours because I always got lost. (Yes, same beach and theoretically the same route every year.) Once, after a particularly long scenic tour I finally came to an intersection I recognized and exclaimed “oh! we’ve been here before!” And my mother said, in a tiny little quavery voice, “Todaaay??” Our beach friends were always eager to hear our latest adventure!
Atlanta is the same way, I drove my daughter to college, pulling a trailer that said don't go over 45 miles an hour while pulling, while merging left approximately every 60 seconds. I had never driven a trailer before and spent the whole trip starting with backing out of my driveway, (a stranger had to do it for me) and never backing up again the whole 2 day, 20 hrs driving trip. When we arrived a threw the keys at the trailer rental guy and said I got this here, you park it. Still have nightmares about the crazy merging Atlanta freeway system I had to drive thru, just like you described.
Congratulations for making it through Atlanta safely! Our freeways are in a state of construction that started four years ago and will last another four, from what I read. My husband was born and brought up here and used to be my personal GPS, but he’s now as baffled as those of us that moved here from away.
If I know anything about road construction, it actually started just before the dawn of time and will be finished shortly after the sun explodes and destroys the earth.
I lived in Atlanta for over a decade as an adult and still get lost. I took the same route home every day for 5 years... and one day, still turned down a one-way street while trying to drive the same said route home. I swear, it's like those staircases at Hogwarts, forever shifting.
This was a priceless evaluation on MN freeways. I’m still laughing! And it helped me realize why my moto for driving in the twin cities is the middle lane is always best… secondly take a good look at the map unless the cell signal suddenly goes away.
James, I am so glad I found you! Any humor I can add to my day is always welcomed. While we don’t have young children to take on vacation with us anymore, (I hear you thinking, you lucky people) the memories your adventures conjure up for me is worth every laugh! I realize it’s at your expense; I apologize. I hope, what now seems light years away, these memories will take you to an off ramp laughing all the way!! 😊
Thanks for the shout out to Delaware!!! We are below Philadelphia and to the right of Washington DC for those looking for it on the old Rand McNally.. I share your thoughts on ‘big city’ driving. Especially hate Chicago.
I’ve driven in and out of Chicago several times, living here now and being from Iowa. Time estimates driving are like, 4-6 hours depending on traffic in Chicago. It’s also worse now with so much construction and many road closures in the city. I’ve learned to fly to Iowa then have someone pick me up or rent a car.
At least you'll have a long-lasting memory of those lanes, just like my dad has from driving in Saudi Arabia (he's frequently flying there due to his current job). He told me many times (and showed some pictures) how they have there many interesting features, for example speed bumps that reqire slowing down almost to zero, otherwise the suspension wil be broken, as well as insane driving habits, such as fitting five cars across three lanes or having little to no driving courtesy, which shows in not letting pedestrians by or letting in those joining from the subordinate roads. It appears from his stories KSA is a totally different driving world.
Museums can sometimes keep the kids busy, yet there are some unusual ways of doing it. As I wrote under Brad Kelley's post on "Some other dad", when I was a newborn, museums were the places where my parents went with me for walking. What was strange, I was very active and loud on the way to there, then I slept throughout the whole tour, only to wake up and make noise seconds after we left the building.
🤪 Max you were an uncultured baby! Your story is very amusing! I admire your dad’s bravery. I certainly can’t drive anywhere else than the US. I prefer to take a taxi or an Uber and entrust my spirit to God. ( Some drivers are sooo crazy I’m never sure if I would survive the ride).
Thanks Ines! I also have experienced some crazy drivers in my life, so I can imagine how you must feel in those taxis and ubers. As for my dad, I think he has so many wild and funny stories from Saudi Arabia that he can write a book, for what I'll try to encourage him. But he says although it's a huge exeperience and adventure at times, he wouldn't want to move there permanently.
And then there's Washington DC, home of "Every street is one way," and "Any mistake lands you on the expressway back to Alexandria." At least, the view of the monuments in the rear view mirror is nice at times...
I went to Washington DC once in high school. I seem to remember our charter bus going through a seven-lane round-about. That was enough to convince me to never, ever drive there.
I was just thinking how I end up going the wrong way every time I pull out of a hotel parking garage. I must be morphing into a native, I don’t even bother to try and turn around- I just make the first right hand turn !
You newsletter had me in stitches and brought back memories of driving in big cities. I hate those surprise exits when my husband and I were all relaxed thinking we were doing pretty good and bam! Now we have to exit and we don’t know where we are going and no idea how we are going to find our way back. Today we pretty much stay in our tiny town mostly to avoid divorce ( we are celebrating our 23rd anniversary right now).
It doesn’t matter who of us is driving into a bigger city. We are codependent and still we don’t make one good pilot or a good navigator. He was raised in a tiny town and he learned to drive very young, meaning he is a chicken in big cities but he drives slightly better. I was raised in a big city with lots of traffic and precisely due to that, I didn’t need to learn how to drive because my city has wonderful public transportation. We got married when I was in my forties and I had to learn how to drive or I would have been like a child the rest of my life waiting for some good samaritan to pick me up to go buy an ice cream cone. He freaks out in big cities and becomes Mr. Hide. I don’t mind the traffic in big cities, but he doesn’t trust my driving skills. Mostly I wait for him to lost consciousness to take the wheel, when he comes back to life he is surprised we are both in one piece in front of our hotel. Anyways, I’m glad I’m not the only person unable to figure out the out of nowhere right lane becoming an unwanted exit. Cheers!
I have much in common with your husband. I didn't exactly keep my cool under pressure. I didn't get in any fights with Lola, though. All my hate was directed at Google Maps and the roads themselves.
My husband is usually easygoing, but he looks like Cruella deVille driving face when he is driving in unknown territory 😂. Unfortunately for him, I’m not a dainty flower either, either he puts himself together or I take the wheel. One time he was so upset he threatened to turn around and not continue going. I said “fine, stop here to get my luggage out of the car”. He decided it was better to let me drive. 🤣 . I’m glad you only fight with the GPS and not with Lola. Mainly because I suspect Lola would tell you to get out of the car 🤣
That would make me crazy! And I have driven all over some crazy places. Dallas is another odd one where you have to 'exit' to frontage roads that have the same name to access local streets. GPS does NOT do well with it! Thankfully it is easy to turn around a lot there or get back on, but it is confusing the first time you deal with it. I am just glad you all made it out okay and here's hoping the girls will be worn out so you can at least have one day of relative quiet. (HaHaHa - we all know that won't happen, but I can put the wish out there for you!)
I am looking forward to receiving your new book. I am actually going to get TWO - one of the grandkids (2nd one is due in November) and one to keep with my other signed copies of ALL your books. I have two copies of most of them - digital and signed - because I am crazy that way.
I was in Dallas once for a wedding but walked and Ubered everywhere. Sounds like I wouldn't have been up for the challenge of driving there. As for the books, that's amazing! I hope you end up with a whole flock of pterodactyls in your family. I'm honored that you have two copies of every book. I just hope you don't have to move any time soon. Books are heavy.
Minneapolis girl here! I cannot stop laughing!! Belly laughs, with tears! Thank you, thank you for the beautiful intro to my beloved home state. MOA meets freeway games meets Children's Museum meets lakes and the Mighty Mississippi. Stay in the middle lane of the freeway. Nobody gets mad at you and no lane falls away. I will share this!!
To the credit of those Minneapolis drivers, not a single one got mad at me. They were more than happy to share the never ending joy of eternal merging.
This was a great newsletter.....I enjoyed every minute of it. I am a nervous driver around anything near a big city and sometimes even my own. What that means is I know someone other than me should be driving and let me be a navigator. The best driver I ever was with was a friend who I went with to Philadelphia. She grew up driving in Chicago so strange roads and heavy traffic didn't phase her. Anyway, I've forced MrP to drive many miles out of the way to avoid Atlanta, which is the city we seem to pass most on any trip over the years. So you and Lola somehow managed to get yourselves around in aggravating situations where I would have given up and taken an exit to a regular street.
By the way, loved the reference to Bilbo Baggins. MrP read The Hobbit every night to our son when he was maybe 4. I just loved hearing the alliteration of his name.
I have some really bad news about Minneapolis nice to not share with you.
If driving there gave you fits maybe my hope that you some day come to Boston is out. You will not make it out of Logan Airport, but we do recommend people take public transportation around here. It is kind of hard to make straight roads, when your city was founded against the Atlantic Ocean and before all the land was filled in.
I have heard scary things about driving in Boston. Clearly I don't have what it takes. Your recommendation to stick to public transportation is a good one.
Boston is a city built on 7 hills that were once islands. The islands were once small villages. Then people threw trash and the remains of burnt buildings in the ocean until it held shape and could be built on. Not one to rebuild roads we kept old ones and made new ones. Our roads are made for walking and horses, not cars and buses. But we try to put them there any way. It is much better since we froze the ground and sunk the highway.
If you do come visit, I'll drive... On second thought stick to public transportation It's almost less confusing.
I am crying with laughter and sending this to my daughter-in-law, who is from Minnesota (we're in SoCal). I vividly remember taking a family trip to Mexico to see my great-grandmother, and being amazed at a highway with no lanes. People just drove in more or less straight lines, but if you wanted to move over it was very nerve wracking! Also, I sympathize with your statement about choosing wrong 100% of the time. My ex-husband used to say 'given a 50-50 chance, I was 100% wrong'. He was correct 😂
This was excellent! Not just a giant dad joke in motion!👊. I always enjoy your writing. The kiddos are great-- the DOGS are magnificent!! 💖
I’ll see your dropping right lanes and raise you left ones. This is a regular pattern in both NC and NY, the two states in which I drive the most. Also, why do some highway exits split for opposite directions on the surface streets while others have two exits, before and after an overpass, one for each direction. This is confusing and can lead to long drives in the wrong direction before finding a legal place for a U-turn.
For many years I drove my parents 4 hours to the beach every year. Except for us it was 5 hours because I always got lost. (Yes, same beach and theoretically the same route every year.) Once, after a particularly long scenic tour I finally came to an intersection I recognized and exclaimed “oh! we’ve been here before!” And my mother said, in a tiny little quavery voice, “Todaaay??” Our beach friends were always eager to hear our latest adventure!
It seems each state has its own special brand of interstate horrors. I'm too cautious to drive and too cheap to Uber. Looks like I'm staying home.
Atlanta is the same way, I drove my daughter to college, pulling a trailer that said don't go over 45 miles an hour while pulling, while merging left approximately every 60 seconds. I had never driven a trailer before and spent the whole trip starting with backing out of my driveway, (a stranger had to do it for me) and never backing up again the whole 2 day, 20 hrs driving trip. When we arrived a threw the keys at the trailer rental guy and said I got this here, you park it. Still have nightmares about the crazy merging Atlanta freeway system I had to drive thru, just like you described.
Congratulations for making it through Atlanta safely! Our freeways are in a state of construction that started four years ago and will last another four, from what I read. My husband was born and brought up here and used to be my personal GPS, but he’s now as baffled as those of us that moved here from away.
If I know anything about road construction, it actually started just before the dawn of time and will be finished shortly after the sun explodes and destroys the earth.
I have heard hushed whispers of the horrors of Atlanta's interstates. The fact that you navigated them with a trailer makes you a god in my book.
I lived in Atlanta for over a decade as an adult and still get lost. I took the same route home every day for 5 years... and one day, still turned down a one-way street while trying to drive the same said route home. I swear, it's like those staircases at Hogwarts, forever shifting.
This was a priceless evaluation on MN freeways. I’m still laughing! And it helped me realize why my moto for driving in the twin cities is the middle lane is always best… secondly take a good look at the map unless the cell signal suddenly goes away.
I should have stayed in the middle lane and never left it. Who knows where that would have gotten me.
Yeah, you could have circled the cities for decades.
James, I am so glad I found you! Any humor I can add to my day is always welcomed. While we don’t have young children to take on vacation with us anymore, (I hear you thinking, you lucky people) the memories your adventures conjure up for me is worth every laugh! I realize it’s at your expense; I apologize. I hope, what now seems light years away, these memories will take you to an off ramp laughing all the way!! 😊
As long as it's not a surprise exit-only off ramp, I'll be happy with that outcome.
MnDot is also genius at planning road construction, as in let’s work on all the major north/south highways the same summer.
The best way to support local businesses is to make sure no one can leave the city. Of course, that also stops new people from moving in...
Thanks for the shout out to Delaware!!! We are below Philadelphia and to the right of Washington DC for those looking for it on the old Rand McNally.. I share your thoughts on ‘big city’ driving. Especially hate Chicago.
Chicago traffic kindly added an hour to our return trip just because. Illinois nice is a nice I can do without.
I’ve driven in and out of Chicago several times, living here now and being from Iowa. Time estimates driving are like, 4-6 hours depending on traffic in Chicago. It’s also worse now with so much construction and many road closures in the city. I’ve learned to fly to Iowa then have someone pick me up or rent a car.
At least you'll have a long-lasting memory of those lanes, just like my dad has from driving in Saudi Arabia (he's frequently flying there due to his current job). He told me many times (and showed some pictures) how they have there many interesting features, for example speed bumps that reqire slowing down almost to zero, otherwise the suspension wil be broken, as well as insane driving habits, such as fitting five cars across three lanes or having little to no driving courtesy, which shows in not letting pedestrians by or letting in those joining from the subordinate roads. It appears from his stories KSA is a totally different driving world.
Museums can sometimes keep the kids busy, yet there are some unusual ways of doing it. As I wrote under Brad Kelley's post on "Some other dad", when I was a newborn, museums were the places where my parents went with me for walking. What was strange, I was very active and loud on the way to there, then I slept throughout the whole tour, only to wake up and make noise seconds after we left the building.
I definitely don't have what it takes to drive in Saudi Arabia. I'd have a nervous breakdown just pulling out of the parking lot.
🤪 Max you were an uncultured baby! Your story is very amusing! I admire your dad’s bravery. I certainly can’t drive anywhere else than the US. I prefer to take a taxi or an Uber and entrust my spirit to God. ( Some drivers are sooo crazy I’m never sure if I would survive the ride).
Thanks Ines! I also have experienced some crazy drivers in my life, so I can imagine how you must feel in those taxis and ubers. As for my dad, I think he has so many wild and funny stories from Saudi Arabia that he can write a book, for what I'll try to encourage him. But he says although it's a huge exeperience and adventure at times, he wouldn't want to move there permanently.
And then there's Washington DC, home of "Every street is one way," and "Any mistake lands you on the expressway back to Alexandria." At least, the view of the monuments in the rear view mirror is nice at times...
I went to Washington DC once in high school. I seem to remember our charter bus going through a seven-lane round-about. That was enough to convince me to never, ever drive there.
Wise man.
I was just thinking how I end up going the wrong way every time I pull out of a hotel parking garage. I must be morphing into a native, I don’t even bother to try and turn around- I just make the first right hand turn !
You newsletter had me in stitches and brought back memories of driving in big cities. I hate those surprise exits when my husband and I were all relaxed thinking we were doing pretty good and bam! Now we have to exit and we don’t know where we are going and no idea how we are going to find our way back. Today we pretty much stay in our tiny town mostly to avoid divorce ( we are celebrating our 23rd anniversary right now).
It doesn’t matter who of us is driving into a bigger city. We are codependent and still we don’t make one good pilot or a good navigator. He was raised in a tiny town and he learned to drive very young, meaning he is a chicken in big cities but he drives slightly better. I was raised in a big city with lots of traffic and precisely due to that, I didn’t need to learn how to drive because my city has wonderful public transportation. We got married when I was in my forties and I had to learn how to drive or I would have been like a child the rest of my life waiting for some good samaritan to pick me up to go buy an ice cream cone. He freaks out in big cities and becomes Mr. Hide. I don’t mind the traffic in big cities, but he doesn’t trust my driving skills. Mostly I wait for him to lost consciousness to take the wheel, when he comes back to life he is surprised we are both in one piece in front of our hotel. Anyways, I’m glad I’m not the only person unable to figure out the out of nowhere right lane becoming an unwanted exit. Cheers!
I have much in common with your husband. I didn't exactly keep my cool under pressure. I didn't get in any fights with Lola, though. All my hate was directed at Google Maps and the roads themselves.
My husband is usually easygoing, but he looks like Cruella deVille driving face when he is driving in unknown territory 😂. Unfortunately for him, I’m not a dainty flower either, either he puts himself together or I take the wheel. One time he was so upset he threatened to turn around and not continue going. I said “fine, stop here to get my luggage out of the car”. He decided it was better to let me drive. 🤣 . I’m glad you only fight with the GPS and not with Lola. Mainly because I suspect Lola would tell you to get out of the car 🤣
Congrats on your anniversary!
I loved your story (and those from comments on other James' posts too).
Thank you! Your stories and comments are also very entertaining and interesting.
That would make me crazy! And I have driven all over some crazy places. Dallas is another odd one where you have to 'exit' to frontage roads that have the same name to access local streets. GPS does NOT do well with it! Thankfully it is easy to turn around a lot there or get back on, but it is confusing the first time you deal with it. I am just glad you all made it out okay and here's hoping the girls will be worn out so you can at least have one day of relative quiet. (HaHaHa - we all know that won't happen, but I can put the wish out there for you!)
I am looking forward to receiving your new book. I am actually going to get TWO - one of the grandkids (2nd one is due in November) and one to keep with my other signed copies of ALL your books. I have two copies of most of them - digital and signed - because I am crazy that way.
I was in Dallas once for a wedding but walked and Ubered everywhere. Sounds like I wouldn't have been up for the challenge of driving there. As for the books, that's amazing! I hope you end up with a whole flock of pterodactyls in your family. I'm honored that you have two copies of every book. I just hope you don't have to move any time soon. Books are heavy.
Minneapolis girl here! I cannot stop laughing!! Belly laughs, with tears! Thank you, thank you for the beautiful intro to my beloved home state. MOA meets freeway games meets Children's Museum meets lakes and the Mighty Mississippi. Stay in the middle lane of the freeway. Nobody gets mad at you and no lane falls away. I will share this!!
To the credit of those Minneapolis drivers, not a single one got mad at me. They were more than happy to share the never ending joy of eternal merging.
This was a great newsletter.....I enjoyed every minute of it. I am a nervous driver around anything near a big city and sometimes even my own. What that means is I know someone other than me should be driving and let me be a navigator. The best driver I ever was with was a friend who I went with to Philadelphia. She grew up driving in Chicago so strange roads and heavy traffic didn't phase her. Anyway, I've forced MrP to drive many miles out of the way to avoid Atlanta, which is the city we seem to pass most on any trip over the years. So you and Lola somehow managed to get yourselves around in aggravating situations where I would have given up and taken an exit to a regular street.
By the way, loved the reference to Bilbo Baggins. MrP read The Hobbit every night to our son when he was maybe 4. I just loved hearing the alliteration of his name.
I'm a huge fan of the Hobbit. I've probably read it six times to myself and once to the kids. Thankfully, Minnesota wasn't full of giant spiders.
Can’t you get Lola to drive all the time?
If only. It turns out she doesn't want to be my personal chauffer all the time. Everybody has their limits.
I have some really bad news about Minneapolis nice to not share with you.
If driving there gave you fits maybe my hope that you some day come to Boston is out. You will not make it out of Logan Airport, but we do recommend people take public transportation around here. It is kind of hard to make straight roads, when your city was founded against the Atlantic Ocean and before all the land was filled in.
I have heard scary things about driving in Boston. Clearly I don't have what it takes. Your recommendation to stick to public transportation is a good one.
Boston is a city built on 7 hills that were once islands. The islands were once small villages. Then people threw trash and the remains of burnt buildings in the ocean until it held shape and could be built on. Not one to rebuild roads we kept old ones and made new ones. Our roads are made for walking and horses, not cars and buses. But we try to put them there any way. It is much better since we froze the ground and sunk the highway.
If you do come visit, I'll drive... On second thought stick to public transportation It's almost less confusing.
I am crying with laughter and sending this to my daughter-in-law, who is from Minnesota (we're in SoCal). I vividly remember taking a family trip to Mexico to see my great-grandmother, and being amazed at a highway with no lanes. People just drove in more or less straight lines, but if you wanted to move over it was very nerve wracking! Also, I sympathize with your statement about choosing wrong 100% of the time. My ex-husband used to say 'given a 50-50 chance, I was 100% wrong'. He was correct 😂
Having no lanes sounds terrifying beyond belief. I need my lanes neatly marked, even if they constantly go away.