As a Trekkie from the FIRST SHOW, okay, I was young but still, I’ve always believe “something” was out there. It’s my fervent prayer that they either 1. Get off their collective asses and help us or 2. Put us out for our misery. I mean the world has always been a mean place to survive in but we’re doing our damn best to end it with global warming or nukes. Either way it means we’re probably looking at the end soon. I’m hoping I’ll be dead by then because seeing “the end” wasn’t on my bucket list. I vote that they finally give in and help. Somehow. Oh, and you wrote this too soon. First thing I read today is that they shot down another...something. Personally I think they’re getting trigger happy but as long as it’s not one of our own planes, eh. If the aliens don’t like it then stop looking AND COME HELP.
I would welcome their assistance. Their vengeance, not so much, but hey, at least I would probably get the day off work if they attacked. And then every day off after that because they wiped us out.
Just about every single line of this made me laugh ... out loud. LLOL as the kids say. (JK, kids no longer even use actual letters, just emojis and GIFs.)
Sir Breakwell, human: I'm a fairly new contributor to Substack, I have 7 pieces in 3 weeks, and I was about to start on a new one about alien intelligence. But you beat me to it, and did it better. Even tho' it's not written, I know. I'm psychic that way.
Very funny piece. It's deserves an award. Interstellar Peace Prize? The Big Yuks R Us ribbon? Something! Hats off! Antennae up! Ken
You are welcome. I saw you visited my Substack, but No Free join in? Please do! It's more life-changing than daily cod liver oil, and more enlightening than a 25w incandescent. Your presence, clearly a plus. is requested. KT
Oh grand poobah, I’m was with you all the way until you assumed the aliens were peaceful. Obviously, they’re getting the lay of the land before they kill us for our polluted water and tasty flesh!
Hilarious and thought-provoking at the same time! Here’s a question: were people just as exhibitionist by nature before the internet and social media but just didn’t have the fast outlets we have today, or did the internet and social media change us?
I've been a Trekker since the first series. Prime Directive? The one Kirk kept breaking like a low speed limit with no cops around? Yeah, that one. His alter ego in the new timeline keeps doing it, too. 🙄
Don't you think if aliens are smart and so far ahead technologically, they would either have shields or just maneuver away from our weapons?
Naw, I think surveillance balloons from one or more of our rivals on Earth.
To any high ranked alien reading this comment, I have one question: Is Hollywood correct when they show in every extra-terrestial invasion movie, that you would start with the strike on the USA, or maybe you'd land somewhere else? Just asking from pure curiosity.
Aliens aside, after reading many of your posts, James, I think being a complainer you are, you'd be a wonderful countryman of mine - we love to complain a lot about pretty much everything. But unlike you, nobody is gonna pay us (even attention).
Ha, I'm glad this one was the free newsletter because if it was the subscribers one that I couldn't read because I'm not an alien I would have sue you!
As I'm not sure sarcasm is well translated when you speak in your not native language I will write it, this is of course a joke !
As a Trekkie from the FIRST SHOW, okay, I was young but still, I’ve always believe “something” was out there. It’s my fervent prayer that they either 1. Get off their collective asses and help us or 2. Put us out for our misery. I mean the world has always been a mean place to survive in but we’re doing our damn best to end it with global warming or nukes. Either way it means we’re probably looking at the end soon. I’m hoping I’ll be dead by then because seeing “the end” wasn’t on my bucket list. I vote that they finally give in and help. Somehow. Oh, and you wrote this too soon. First thing I read today is that they shot down another...something. Personally I think they’re getting trigger happy but as long as it’s not one of our own planes, eh. If the aliens don’t like it then stop looking AND COME HELP.
I would welcome their assistance. Their vengeance, not so much, but hey, at least I would probably get the day off work if they attacked. And then every day off after that because they wiped us out.
This letter might be my favorite. It's like you took my thoughts about the human race and made them funny.
Just about every single line of this made me laugh ... out loud. LLOL as the kids say. (JK, kids no longer even use actual letters, just emojis and GIFs.)
My kids speak out loud in emojis and memes. It's terrifying.
Sir Breakwell, human: I'm a fairly new contributor to Substack, I have 7 pieces in 3 weeks, and I was about to start on a new one about alien intelligence. But you beat me to it, and did it better. Even tho' it's not written, I know. I'm psychic that way.
Very funny piece. It's deserves an award. Interstellar Peace Prize? The Big Yuks R Us ribbon? Something! Hats off! Antennae up! Ken
Thanks! The secret is the aliens helped me right it. First the pyramids, then this post, with a gap thousands of years long in between.
You are welcome. I saw you visited my Substack, but No Free join in? Please do! It's more life-changing than daily cod liver oil, and more enlightening than a 25w incandescent. Your presence, clearly a plus. is requested. KT
I did not read this newsletter since it was clearly marked for aliens.
But I hope you are not cheesing off our future overlords, James.
Don't do us dirty like that! 👽
I appreciate you respecting the honor system. Your restraint is commendable.
I did not want this piece to end. I laughed and marveled at every paragraph and I wish I understood how you can write so well. It's truly a gift.
"Condescending jerks" - gotta remember that one.
Thanks! I've been waiting to write a letter to the aliens for my whole life. It's about time they showed up.
Oh grand poobah, I’m was with you all the way until you assumed the aliens were peaceful. Obviously, they’re getting the lay of the land before they kill us for our polluted water and tasty flesh!
Sadly, you are probably right, but I'd like to assume the best just in case I can nudge them into not annihilating us.
Hilarious and thought-provoking at the same time! Here’s a question: were people just as exhibitionist by nature before the internet and social media but just didn’t have the fast outlets we have today, or did the internet and social media change us?
I've been a Trekker since the first series. Prime Directive? The one Kirk kept breaking like a low speed limit with no cops around? Yeah, that one. His alter ego in the new timeline keeps doing it, too. 🙄
Don't you think if aliens are smart and so far ahead technologically, they would either have shields or just maneuver away from our weapons?
Naw, I think surveillance balloons from one or more of our rivals on Earth.
Way to burst my bubble. Or spy balloon. I began to suspect you were right as soon as we started shooting them down.
To any high ranked alien reading this comment, I have one question: Is Hollywood correct when they show in every extra-terrestial invasion movie, that you would start with the strike on the USA, or maybe you'd land somewhere else? Just asking from pure curiosity.
Aliens aside, after reading many of your posts, James, I think being a complainer you are, you'd be a wonderful countryman of mine - we love to complain a lot about pretty much everything. But unlike you, nobody is gonna pay us (even attention).
It seems logical for the aliens to start here simply because we have the most fast food joints. No reason to start the invasion on an empty stomach.
Ha, I'm glad this one was the free newsletter because if it was the subscribers one that I couldn't read because I'm not an alien I would have sue you!
As I'm not sure sarcasm is well translated when you speak in your not native language I will write it, this is of course a joke !
Good one James 😀
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