I suck at keeping friends. I am an ambivert which is like being bi-polar. I go weeks keeping to myself then go to a gathering and enjoy talking to people but so exhausted after. Then I retreat into my solitary world with my dog and cat. I go to counseling once a month thank goodness. I pay the counselor to listen to me and actually hear me. Around people I feel like I am on the outside looking in. My counselor is stuck with me for 50 minutes in a small room and I sit next to the door. She can’t escape if she wanted to! Lol. Who needs friends when you have a counselor on retainer!
Friends have one advantage over counselors: They're free. Unless you factor in all the PayPal reimbursements that cause misunderstandings. Then it might be a wash.
Ah! I understand! Also tend to attempt humor and instead blow up friendships, family relationships and heaven knows what, later to be totally puzzled what I have done wrong (and nobody explains, say they are just “busy”). For a moment I thought, oh joy, finally someone will understand me! But quickly realized that two socially awkward people are LESS likely to understand. Oh, well. If you need another short term friend, I’m here. Call, you will regret it. Or I will. Or we both will.
Two awkward people are the perfect match as long as you both assume all perceived slights aren't slights at all. Mutually embrace the impending disaster.
I’ve been told I’m a social introvert. I like being around semi small crowds, but then I have to go home and decompress. I often make plans and then regret them when I have to actually go. I went back to work two days a week just so I’m around people and I can control how much.
I don't think I've ever lost a friend because of something I've said because I am not witty enough to think of something to say like you did. Unfortunately, all the friends I've lost is because 1)they move far away, or 2)the common interest that brings us together is over and done or 3) they die. I guess the key here is to enjoy the friendship while you have it and hope for the best. I really do try to assume a friend is joking when sarcastic comments are made because I know sometimes I don't "get" the humor and take things said too literally. I'm glad you and Delilah worked it out before it could fester beyond repair.
Shame to admit that, but I lack a sense of humor, self-distance and am pretty sensitive. That's why I seldom tell jokes about myself or anybody, even within the circle of closest family and friends, plus because I fear offending them. I make remarks and jokes only when I'm 100% sure I won't spark an argument or make someone sad or willing to end relations with me. But when with the entourage we know we mean no harm, the remarks and occasional taunts are somewhat present in chatting & texting.
At this point, you probably need Lola to explain things to Delilah. Of course, that has innumerable ways it can go. Everybody can become closer after this open communication or, there will never be board game night at anybody’s house again. Most of us probably already know your preference. But, we will still be your friend!
Glad things got straightened out. My husband is a sweet guy who loves to joke around and has inadvertently offended friends on occasion. He really doesn't say anything super controversial, he's just kind of naive about what's goofily funny and what people feel sensitive about. He freely jokes about himself as well, so that is a redeeming quality. The worst is a person who jokes with/ about others but can't about himself. Yuck! You are obvi willing to see the humor in your own foibles and life, James. That's what's so fun!
And I'm also pretty nice so people want to be around us for that. ;-)
You have the best stories! And yes, human communication is really hard sometimes. Don‘t you wish there was the Vulcan mind meld? Good that your friend blurted this out so that the air could be cleared - whew!
Heh, I swear this whole post was like reading "Life as an autistic person" from the viewpoint of someone other than me. (Yes, I am autistic, and yes, this is almost the story of my life. I have had so many instances where people were mad at me and I didn't understand why!)
I suck at keeping friends. I am an ambivert which is like being bi-polar. I go weeks keeping to myself then go to a gathering and enjoy talking to people but so exhausted after. Then I retreat into my solitary world with my dog and cat. I go to counseling once a month thank goodness. I pay the counselor to listen to me and actually hear me. Around people I feel like I am on the outside looking in. My counselor is stuck with me for 50 minutes in a small room and I sit next to the door. She can’t escape if she wanted to! Lol. Who needs friends when you have a counselor on retainer!
Friends have one advantage over counselors: They're free. Unless you factor in all the PayPal reimbursements that cause misunderstandings. Then it might be a wash.
Ah! I understand! Also tend to attempt humor and instead blow up friendships, family relationships and heaven knows what, later to be totally puzzled what I have done wrong (and nobody explains, say they are just “busy”). For a moment I thought, oh joy, finally someone will understand me! But quickly realized that two socially awkward people are LESS likely to understand. Oh, well. If you need another short term friend, I’m here. Call, you will regret it. Or I will. Or we both will.
Two awkward people are the perfect match as long as you both assume all perceived slights aren't slights at all. Mutually embrace the impending disaster.
Friendships are gold (money in the Bank)
I’ve been told I’m a social introvert. I like being around semi small crowds, but then I have to go home and decompress. I often make plans and then regret them when I have to actually go. I went back to work two days a week just so I’m around people and I can control how much.
People in small doses sounds ideal. You've got it figure out!
Exactly!
I, and most of my friends, are engineers - notorious for social awkwardness. Probably why we flock together. LOL
You know what they say: birds of a feather solve the hardest math problems.
Oh my gosh! I often say things that I think are funny but go over like a lead balloon! Thanks for making me feel I’m not the only one!
You're definitely not alone! I've flown so many lead balloons that I'm poisoning the environment.
I don't think I've ever lost a friend because of something I've said because I am not witty enough to think of something to say like you did. Unfortunately, all the friends I've lost is because 1)they move far away, or 2)the common interest that brings us together is over and done or 3) they die. I guess the key here is to enjoy the friendship while you have it and hope for the best. I really do try to assume a friend is joking when sarcastic comments are made because I know sometimes I don't "get" the humor and take things said too literally. I'm glad you and Delilah worked it out before it could fester beyond repair.
That’s easy. They stay with you because Lola is so great!
It's good that she's here to balance me out. Otherwise I'd be an involuntary hermit when everyone else ran away.
Shame to admit that, but I lack a sense of humor, self-distance and am pretty sensitive. That's why I seldom tell jokes about myself or anybody, even within the circle of closest family and friends, plus because I fear offending them. I make remarks and jokes only when I'm 100% sure I won't spark an argument or make someone sad or willing to end relations with me. But when with the entourage we know we mean no harm, the remarks and occasional taunts are somewhat present in chatting & texting.
At this point, you probably need Lola to explain things to Delilah. Of course, that has innumerable ways it can go. Everybody can become closer after this open communication or, there will never be board game night at anybody’s house again. Most of us probably already know your preference. But, we will still be your friend!
I’d be as wealthy as Delilah if I had a dollar for every flippant remark I made that didn’t land well. I’m the only one who thinks I am funny 🤷🏻♀️
Glad things got straightened out. My husband is a sweet guy who loves to joke around and has inadvertently offended friends on occasion. He really doesn't say anything super controversial, he's just kind of naive about what's goofily funny and what people feel sensitive about. He freely jokes about himself as well, so that is a redeeming quality. The worst is a person who jokes with/ about others but can't about himself. Yuck! You are obvi willing to see the humor in your own foibles and life, James. That's what's so fun!
And I'm also pretty nice so people want to be around us for that. ;-)
Go Lola!
You have the best stories! And yes, human communication is really hard sometimes. Don‘t you wish there was the Vulcan mind meld? Good that your friend blurted this out so that the air could be cleared - whew!
Heh, I swear this whole post was like reading "Life as an autistic person" from the viewpoint of someone other than me. (Yes, I am autistic, and yes, this is almost the story of my life. I have had so many instances where people were mad at me and I didn't understand why!)