Never fear, the regularly scheduled bonus email for paid subscribers will still come out tomorrow. But first, an important reminder: Books exist. Specifically, my books. As a published author, 99 percent of my time is supposed to be spent promoting them (with the other 1 percent dedicated to procrastination), but in that duty, I have failed. I like writing more than I like selling, which, oddly enough, makes me a very bad author. I should have flipped those two skill sets if I wanted to make the New York Times Best Seller List. But today I’ll attempt to make up for my shortcomings by reminding you that there’s still time to buy one (or more) of my books as a gift for someone you love. Or like. Or outright hate. The right book to the wrong person can be the ultimate passive aggressive snub. Wield these books to help or hurt whoever you so choose.
Dec 8, 2022·edited Dec 8, 2022Liked by James Breakwell
Holy Crap James, you're my brother from another mother. I'm also a published author - five books - three of them kids books - and I've have been utter rubbish at promoting them. I've also messed around with screenplays etc - anything to avoid building any sort of following (and because I stupidly thought film would be easy. It wasn't). I shall immediately hunt out your books as they are my sort of humour - check out my first one if you like, coz, you know, it's not like you have anything else to do - it's called The Laughing Policeman, and tells how I spectacularly sabotage my career in the New Zealand police by being shit at the job. Side Note - My latest kid's book Deadhead features a Zombie cop. Spooky coincidence.
Hey James, I'd be great to chat re substack and various other stuff - I just ordered your book and cross promoted this post - given my massive readership I'm estimating you'll see a .00000002 bump in sales. Could we perhaps chat on email some time - I'm gonzoid@xtra.co.nz - Cheers
I have the last two of your books (signed, thank you very much) and have been meaning to go back and pick up one of your older ones. I've always been intrigued by Bare Minimum and even though my kids are adults, it will be fun to see how I might have fared using your guide. Consider it sold!
Don't take this the wrong way, but I already have all these books so what I need is for you to write a new book for me to buy. LOL (just kidding, but not really, because I will be looking forward to your next book). I think my favorite is Prance Like No One's Watching, which I both completed for myself and have given as a gift, but they are all excellent. I encourage anyone reading this to buy all of the books on your list. (edited to change my recommendation from reading to buying these books, in honor of the sell more books theme of this post, but people should read them too because they are good)
I’ve got about half of your published list...will have to keep working on it. I can’t wait for the sequel to The Chosen Twelve.
And I’m sad to hear how little you make from book royalties. I’ll have to think about who might enjoy a paid subscription - I love mine! I have a daughter a bit older than Betsy who’s home with me a lot right now (health issues), and enjoys when I read her your posts, so we’ve even been going through old ones! (And we’re waiting for Lola to read another one!)
I have bought and loved every one of your books. I will admit I was a little wary of The Chosen Twelve because it's not something I would normally read but it took about half a chapter for me to fall in love with it. So ready for the sequel!
I have read this book & have the rest of your books to read. It seriously made me laugh out loud. I don't have kids but I love testing these theories on my niece & nephew, who aren't always sure that I'm serious about my suggestions. 🤣 Please keep doing you. I, too, look forward to your next book. ♥️
I have all of your books, including the Unicorn kid one which I gave to my 11 y.o. niece and she
💙loved💙 it!
Cool aunts buying that book for neices and nephews accounted for approximately 99 percent of my sales on that book.
I got one for my 2nd cousin, who is more like a niece. I have yet to hear how she liked it, but I thought it looked like loads of fun~
I have digital copies of your first three but now I want to get signed hard copies of them. Can I still do so through Main Street Books?
Holy Crap James, you're my brother from another mother. I'm also a published author - five books - three of them kids books - and I've have been utter rubbish at promoting them. I've also messed around with screenplays etc - anything to avoid building any sort of following (and because I stupidly thought film would be easy. It wasn't). I shall immediately hunt out your books as they are my sort of humour - check out my first one if you like, coz, you know, it's not like you have anything else to do - it's called The Laughing Policeman, and tells how I spectacularly sabotage my career in the New Zealand police by being shit at the job. Side Note - My latest kid's book Deadhead features a Zombie cop. Spooky coincidence.
Okay, now I'm intrigued on all counts!
Hey James, I'd be great to chat re substack and various other stuff - I just ordered your book and cross promoted this post - given my massive readership I'm estimating you'll see a .00000002 bump in sales. Could we perhaps chat on email some time - I'm gonzoid@xtra.co.nz - Cheers
I have the last two of your books (signed, thank you very much) and have been meaning to go back and pick up one of your older ones. I've always been intrigued by Bare Minimum and even though my kids are adults, it will be fun to see how I might have fared using your guide. Consider it sold!
It’s never to late to do less!
Don't take this the wrong way, but I already have all these books so what I need is for you to write a new book for me to buy. LOL (just kidding, but not really, because I will be looking forward to your next book). I think my favorite is Prance Like No One's Watching, which I both completed for myself and have given as a gift, but they are all excellent. I encourage anyone reading this to buy all of the books on your list. (edited to change my recommendation from reading to buying these books, in honor of the sell more books theme of this post, but people should read them too because they are good)
Don't worry, I'm working on that new book. Thanks for buying all the others!
I’ve got about half of your published list...will have to keep working on it. I can’t wait for the sequel to The Chosen Twelve.
And I’m sad to hear how little you make from book royalties. I’ll have to think about who might enjoy a paid subscription - I love mine! I have a daughter a bit older than Betsy who’s home with me a lot right now (health issues), and enjoys when I read her your posts, so we’ve even been going through old ones! (And we’re waiting for Lola to read another one!)
I have all of your signed books from your sweet bookstore ♥️
I have bought and loved every one of your books. I will admit I was a little wary of The Chosen Twelve because it's not something I would normally read but it took about half a chapter for me to fall in love with it. So ready for the sequel!
That's awesome to hear! I appreciate you giving my sci-fi a chance.
I have read this book & have the rest of your books to read. It seriously made me laugh out loud. I don't have kids but I love testing these theories on my niece & nephew, who aren't always sure that I'm serious about my suggestions. 🤣 Please keep doing you. I, too, look forward to your next book. ♥️
Using fictional advice in a real setting is the ultimate power play.