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My advice: anytime anything hurts enough to radically change how you are living your life, go to the walk in clinic. If it doesn’t start getting better immediately, go somewhere else and ask for a second opinion. You have fans who rely on your humor to get them through their week. Stop messing around!

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I just don’t know what to do with you! Next time, you need to move quicker to the “seeing a professional” section of the timeline. Get well soon. P.S. Lola is a saint.

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It really wasn't that long of a delay. But it did go from a minor annoyance to a threat to my life awfully quick.

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This line is one I’ll remember for a long time:

“It’s like they always say in the medical industry, measure twice, cut once, bill three times.”

Gems like that out of the blue are why I’ve subscribed for a long time.

Hope you continue to be on the mend.

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You ARE a walking disaster arn’t you??? I was waiting for this newsletter after seeing the post with everyone looking at you via their phones looking scared. Except for Waffle. You know I have a nephew they call the “Unabomber”. Waffle somehow reminds me of him. I’m so, so sorry you had to go through this shit again (see whaat I did there?). For such a young guy you’ve had butt (heh)load of stuff happen to you in the last year. The fact that a hair follicle can do this to you makes me worried that you’ll lose a hand next time you get a paper cut. In all serious though, my sister recently went through pretty much the same exact thing in the same exact area. I’ll keep how long it took her to get past it to myself. In your defense you are younger and somewhat healthier than her so maybe it won’t be bad. I hope so. Although you do write some damn funny posts when your at your worst.

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Jul 24, 2023·edited Jul 24, 2023Author

The range of recovery times the doctor said is truly alarming. I'm hoping for once that luck is on my side and I bounce back quick. You know, so something else cannot me down again.

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It was long, messy and she hated every minute of it. In the upside it DID eventually heal. Although she has a really weird dip in her ass now. Good thing she’s long time married to a man whose use to these things with her.

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I'm content to let "eventually" remain vague. Glad she healed, no matter how long it took.

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Jul 24, 2023Liked by James Breakwell

I’m just so sorry you had to go through this.

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Get well soon. I feel bad about learning some new medical terms thanks to your miseries since last year. Hopefully your recovery will be speedy. I agree with others saying Lola is a Saint - what she's doing for you desreves highest forms of praise and I have big respect for her. I'm gonna pray for you.

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It is unfortunate that I can continue to educate the world about medical conditions that I also had never heard of until I got them. Lola does seem to have the votes for saint hood. I'll have to forward the petition on to the pope.

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Well, I hope you've still never heard of most of my genetic stuff, heh.

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With a medical background I have to ask, why didn’t the ER doc or someone do an I&D of the abscess to temporize until the surgery the next day. The pain is due to the expanding pressure in an enclosed space ( as well as the inflammation).

Honestly you need to invite some medical people to your board game night to run your signs and symptoms by them.

Glad it all worked out.

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Ummm because he was already septic and that makes it a surgeon problem.

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Some day, your surgeons will all get together a write a book called "The Malady Man" or something. Heck, you could start it right now.

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The nurses are starting to recognize me from previous visits. That's the most alarming part.

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I've been in so many times that I've asked for a frequent flyer card.

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Feel better soon! I hope you've learned a hard lesson and will progress to medical help a little sooner next time. Several years ago, my husband got a blood clot in his small intestine that almost killed him. (He actually had seven throughout his body, but this is the one that did the most damage.) When he finally got out of the hospital after two weeks in a medically induced coma, a month in ICU and another two weeks in the hospital, he had a vacuum in his stomach so he could heal from the inside out. The incision went from his breast bone to his pubic bone, and they expected me to take out the gauze, SCRUB the inside of the entire incision, and rebandage him every day. Nope....nuh-uh. Couldn't do it. That's why there are home care nurses and God bless them!! It makes me gaggy today just thinking about it. Your Lola is a strong woman!

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That sounds terrible! Fortunately, treating this wound isn't quite that involved, although I'm sure it's almost as gross. As for going in to see the doctor soon enough, in my defense, It's not like I put this off all that long. I just didn't expect it to go from a mild irritant to a threat to my life in a few days.

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For future reference an infection can kill in as little as 24 hrs, depending on where in the body it is.

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🫂

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FWIW, I had to leave my gall bladder in the local hospital this morning.

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My bad! Everyone knows surgeries are contagious. Hope you're recovering okay.

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Yes, I am. Thanks.

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Oh no! Feel better soon

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Thank you! I appreciate that.

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So sorry for your surgery, do not try to keep up with James though ... LOL

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I'm really not trying to. It's just getting old, I guess. No one's tried to call me about my body's extended warranty yet.

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Lol... No one's tried to call me about my body's extended warranty....😜

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Feel better soon! Wishing a speedy recovery!

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Thanks!

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Yikes - sorry to hear this and hope you feel much better with it "out". MrP went thru that (and sepsis) a few years ago. No fun!

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Thanks! Much appreciated.

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Wow. If you have life insurance I hope they're not reading your newsletters.

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Oh goodness James I am so glad you are on the mend. Many years ago when I had a newborn, my husband also had an abscess in his "rear area". My brother ended up having to take him to the hospital since I had no one able at that time to help me with our daughter. It was not as bad as yours but I just remember him being in excruciating pain and him having to take salt baths to ease the pain. I think his abscess also resulted from an ingrown hair. Hairy butts are more so a guy thing haha...one of the few things I, as a woman, do not need to be as concerned about "down there" since woman have so many other things in that area to be concerned about :)) Please pay more attention to your body :) so you can keep writing and stay away from hospitals.

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Oh no, James. I couldn't believe it when I read the email subject about emergency surgery. :-( I'm so sorry you've gone through another medical episode and with so much discomfort. Glad you are on the mend such as it is. I started following you after Erma last year and I had to go backward to read about the appendix. The rest I've been through with you. ;-) Lola is indeed a good woman, for many reasons I'm sure (not the least of which is giving you 4 beautiful daughters). Maybe subconsciously you're trying to match the 4 labor and deliveries she's been through with your last year + of maladies and injuries. What a sweet husband.... Oh and good luck with your book launch!

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I had hoped that it was just more about his previous adventures in medicine...

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Yes me too! Let's hope this is the last medical catastrophe for James. Even though he does have a wonderfully funny way to see his way through that benefits us all.

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Jul 24, 2023Liked by James Breakwell

Sorry for your troubles. On the positive side, I was visiting my son and daughter-in-law when your new book got delivered to my first grandchild (born 11 days ago). While she couldn't enjoy the book yet, I thought it was great and she and many children (and adults) I'm sure will enjoy it to. Hang in there.

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Awesome! I hope she grows up to be a mighty pterodactyl. Congrats on the new grandkid!

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Jul 24, 2023Liked by James Breakwell

God sent an angel named Lola✝️ to take care of you.

PS I received my two signed copies of your new child's book ❤️ on Saturday 👍

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So sorry. My mom had this EXACT same thing happen to her EXCEPT all the cutting happened with absolutely no anesthesia at all. Doc claimed “he needed to know when healthy tissue started and pain response was a good indicator.” She described her numerous visits and procedures as worse than childbirth.

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That sounds like medical malpractice. Please tell me this was 60 years ago and not recently.

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This was like a year ago.

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😱

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Some Drs (and almost all PTs) love to cause pain...especially unnecessary pain

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Wowzers

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