A-ha! I’ve found the flaw in your thinking. You are under the impression you should take your children with you when you go out to eat. Eating out, which is the greatest thing since sliced bread, without children is the best.
You have a free babysitter, too.
Do they not have Kid’s Eat Free night in the Mid-West? If I had to take children with me, I’d investigate this option. At least two kids, maybe three, would eat free.
I don't take advantage of kids eat free nights as a matter of principal. I don't want to bankrupt anybody. Also, my wife has this crazy notion that our "family outings" should include the family. She's out of control.
But James, kids eats free nights are scheduled on nights that are usually slow for that business so that people will actually come there and buy food. You’d be doing them a favor really…
Love ramen and boba. Yes, it may be a little pricey, but have you tried making boba milk tea at home? No, I didn't think so. Rational people don't do that. They leave it to the professionals. And GOOD (authentic) ramen? That's an all-day process. No thanks.
Suit up. We're going out. And picking up Lucky Charms on the way home. 😋
From the point of view of a senior citizen with adult children, the idea of a meal with both of us parents and both children, with someone else doing the cooking and clean up, sounds like heaven. I’m sure you are very tired of people saying “you will miss this one day”. But you will. Everything but the bill.
Going to a sit-down restaurant while in a family of more than four (five in my case) can turn the downside of requiring, as you say, more space into having more comfort. When we eat out in such, we are usually seated by either the table for six or they put together two for four. Having it that way we can either use additional space to leave our stuff or sit with more space between each of us.
We rarely eat outside home, because mum loves cooking and dad believes homemade food is cheaper and healthier than anywhere else. When we do go to a restaurant or a fast food, as both counts for "food outing" in our book, it's mainly during a trip or to mark an occasion, such as birthday or nameday.
I agree with you on the toilet and costs statements, the second of which being another reason for my dad to use his favourite joke on being stripped of his last shirt or letting him go with empty bags. And all that given we as well order something not too cheap or costly.
Rules regarding loading the dishwasher are the one of the biggest battlefields between children and parents in my family, as I think that's basically cleaning them instead of the dishwasher. But I'm not the rule setter, so I can only oppose verbally.
I too think that fast foods are better, because they are saving the time needed to be spent on eating. And I totally agree with your thought on this awkward feeling while waiting for the bill, which in the past always led me to imagine what would happen if the payment was rejected.
When it comes to refills and bathroom urge, it's a big problem only during travel, as it infuriates my dad when he has to stop every gas station (or woods, if not on the highway). That's why it's prohibited for us to take them on trips.
Fast food places are a trap on road trips. I always tell myself I'm not going to drink anything, and then I have a bunch of diet soda. Half an hour down the road, calamity.
This was the first of your newsletters I’ve had the pleasure of reading/hearing. I was actually surprised I enjoyed it so much, partly because it sounds a whole lot like my parents and we four offspring (I was the eldest, brothers year later, our little sisters 6 and 8 years behind me). Thank you for making me smile today. I look forward to reading more.
I do not like shopping of any sort, particularly grocery shopping. My husband loves it and tells me I’m not a “normal woman”. He usually loves shopping, loves finding things on sale and using coupon, when he can find them. If we need to go to several stores or have appointments we try to combine things into one trip to town. This is when he starts planning our route like a battle plan and he tells me what time we need to be on the road so I can be sure he’s up and ready to go. I like to use lists when grocery shopping and if it’s not, I don’t get it unless it’s for an important reason. Husband is a “wild card”when shopping, he’s an impulse buyer at times , if he something on sees sale he wants to get it whether we really need it or not. So I go with him to try and keep him reined in some.
Anyway, I was wondering, what your views on this topic might be, James?
I hate shopping in person. It seems so random. What are the odd I'm going to stumble across the best possible deal? Most likely, all overlook something and end up paying too much. That is my nightmare. Maybe your husband can shop for both of us.
I remember being at a Red Lobster when there was a large family there with many children. Figuring children don't eat everything on their plate, I wondered just whose idea it was to go there knowing it was going to cost them an arm and a leg. We eat at a sit-down restaurant normally once a week on date night with friends. We've noticed in the past 6 months our bill (2 people), for the same food, has increased from about $45 to $60, without tip. Even the fast-food places have really upped their prices - nowhere is cheap anymore, period.
I think we just quit going out to eat once the kids couldn't be held captive in high chairs. It wasn't worth being exhausted from making sure the kids behaved and were under control, which wasn't fair to us or to them since they were, well, kids. Waiting a long time for the meal to be served could be disastrous for young ones who were hungry and bored.
I think as a kid, my family only ate out maybe once a year - when the tax refund came in. I bet my mom would have loved to have had a night off once in awhile but eating at home was the rule for most every family back then. I love having the choice and the means to be able to eat out but it is more for just getting out of the house and to give MrP a break from cooking. Just don't take me to a place with so much noise that I cannot hear myself think!
Growing up, we also ate almost all of our meals at home. But every once in a while my parents would pick up pizza or McDonald's. What more could you need? To a child, that's the height of luxury.
I grew up in a family of eight. If you think this would make it easier at a restaurant you'd be wrong. Yes, four people per booth is roomy. But, as any horror movie fan or D&D player can tell you, a party split leads to doom. I think you and my father share the same outlook on venues. I clearly recall the tipping point when my father asked my mother where she'd like to eat out, and with a sigh that was as firm as steal she responded, "Anyplace I don't have to unwrap my food." I saw a tiny bit of my dad die upon hearing those words. To the best of my recollection he has never taken her to a fast food place since. Now, he's in his ninties and shes in her eighties, and he will jump at any opportunity to each out with any of us. The last time when it was just the two of us he pointing to a Taco Bell. "What do they serve there?" We hit the drive-in and ate in the parking lot. I introduced him to various degree of hot sauces that came in packets.
I’m so sorry for your budget… but very happy for your family. My husband and I eat out about once a week and luckily our kids are grown ups with their own set of kids. I agree with your points ( such as calories in the food or when the meal will arrive to the table). I only suggest to go to a restaurant as early as possible during a weekday ( for instance right after school is over). That gives the restaurant staff time to recover from the shock of your family of six and allows the food to arrive soon to your grumbling stomach. Regarding the money… you better finish your sequel book and start pushing the ones you already wrote even harder. You have a captive audience here… just keep telling us how interesting, entertaining and good your books are!
Fair compromise would be (since you're willing to go out weekly at all), that the kids have to eat something OTHER than fried chicken or grilled cheese because those are so ridiculously overpriced. Ramen and boba is a great start to that end.
And I thought it was common knowledge that cereal is an all-day food. And for midnight snacking. And for those times when you wake up ravenous at 3am. Cereal is 24x7x365.
I'm happy to find a fellow cereal acolyte here. It is indeed the greatest of all possible foods. I'd be open to having it for Thanksgiving dinner. There's truly never a bad time for Lucky Charms.
1) Ramen and boba? I’m confused. Is this the same boba that is the little gelatin balls that are served in milk tea drinks? Do they go in the ramen? Or what’s the connection??
2) I know much of your commentary is just for fun, but as you are the father of four young girls, I must share my initial reaction to your newsletter: I’m the mother of a 13-year old with an eating disorder, and I beg you not to spend so much time counting calories and thinking about the differences in amount of fat in foods from different kitchens, and if you do, PLEASE don’t let your daughters hear you, know about it, or read your newsletters where you talk about it. Eating disorders are NOT only occurring in “problem kids”, overweight kids, kids from bad families, etc. They are genetic, metabolic and neurological, and anyone can get one through insufficient food for their body’s needs, and this can be triggered by even a small restriction caused by worrying about things like calories or fat.
3) I’m totally with you on cereal being an all-day food, and Lucky Charms is definitely my cereal of choice when I’m in the US (and I frequently request it as a hostess gift from visitors!).
4) Yeah for your family’s intervention! Perhaps you need to up the game to enjoy it more? My husband and I ate out a LOT before having kids (my kids all came AFTER I turned 40), so we’ve tried to at least continue to some extent, and mostly they enjoy fine dining now too. But you’re absolutely right, a family of 5 or more tends to create consternation everywhere we go...
The boba is in the tea, not the ramen. Easily our most expensive meal of the week, and most of the kids hated it. And thus another pricey experiment comes to an end.
Very, very funny, as always. Thank you. Although the vast majority of all this regards other eating out with four kids issues, your comment in passing on the profitability of restaurants is spot on. We’re you an attorney specializing in bankruptcy before you started writing?
I was not, but I've seen enough restaurants close and reopen in the same storefront to realize nobody's getting rich here. My heart goes out to anybody who tries to make it work in that industry. It looks like I'll be unwittingly helping them in their quest to break even.
I have a love/hate relationship with eating out. Someone else does the grocery shopping/prepping/clean up plus everyone gets something unique? Win! But, as another commenter pointed out, it's becoming very pricey to eat put these days. I actually usually eat out when someone else is paying (hello job perks), and will settle for cooking at home otherwise.
Even I can't complain when someone else takes us out to eat and puts the bill. That seldom happens, though. I don't know many millionaires who can afford to wine and dine us.
"That's one hill I'll die on." Man, I love your way with words!! Also, your self-deprecating humour (Canadian, sorry) is hilarious. But I don't believe it conceals a good husband and father, and a decent human. Keep up your amazing manipulation of words!!
How was the boba? We love it and we go out for ramen and boba as often as we can get away with. We have 1 kid so we haven't had the same escapades as you, but we go out with friends who do so I get it. The expense of 3 seems like a lot to us, so, yeah, 6...
And the comment about your hunger response not working. Oh my goodness you must be my brother. Mine doesn't either. Like, at all. And I'm petite and have always remained trim. But if something tastes good I eat and eat. I've likened myself to a pig because I understand they actually don't have a feeling of being full, so if they aren't stopped they'll eat until their stomachs explode. I get near that sadly fairly often. My grandpa always called it "foundering." I'm glad I'm not the only one and thank goodness for fast metabolisms.....
The struggle is real. Although, for the record, I did actually see a pig get full once. The automatic feeder I hung in the tree fell down, and it dumped 25 lbs of pellets on the ground. That was a quarter of my pig's body weight. She ate until even she had to give up and take a nap. I thought hell was going to freeze over.
Many places don't make you wait for the bill. On the table there is a little kiosk where you can pay your bill whenever you are ready. However, they usually have games on them that cost money. Your $100 dining bill, plus tip, min 20% = $120, playing games will add another $10 giving you a grand total of $130 or more. Sorry James, you just made an expensive decision ;o)
I actually like those tablets, but you're right: they're full of traps. Click the wrong spot and you're down another 10 bucks. It's a fast way to go bankrupt.
A-ha! I’ve found the flaw in your thinking. You are under the impression you should take your children with you when you go out to eat. Eating out, which is the greatest thing since sliced bread, without children is the best.
You have a free babysitter, too.
Do they not have Kid’s Eat Free night in the Mid-West? If I had to take children with me, I’d investigate this option. At least two kids, maybe three, would eat free.
I don't take advantage of kids eat free nights as a matter of principal. I don't want to bankrupt anybody. Also, my wife has this crazy notion that our "family outings" should include the family. She's out of control.
But James, kids eats free nights are scheduled on nights that are usually slow for that business so that people will actually come there and buy food. You’d be doing them a favor really…
Love ramen and boba. Yes, it may be a little pricey, but have you tried making boba milk tea at home? No, I didn't think so. Rational people don't do that. They leave it to the professionals. And GOOD (authentic) ramen? That's an all-day process. No thanks.
Suit up. We're going out. And picking up Lucky Charms on the way home. 😋
Lucky Charms can atone for almost any wrong.
I prefer Cinnamon Toast Crunch. :)
From the point of view of a senior citizen with adult children, the idea of a meal with both of us parents and both children, with someone else doing the cooking and clean up, sounds like heaven. I’m sure you are very tired of people saying “you will miss this one day”. But you will. Everything but the bill.
I look forward to missing so many things.
This newsletter left me with some thoughts.
Going to a sit-down restaurant while in a family of more than four (five in my case) can turn the downside of requiring, as you say, more space into having more comfort. When we eat out in such, we are usually seated by either the table for six or they put together two for four. Having it that way we can either use additional space to leave our stuff or sit with more space between each of us.
We rarely eat outside home, because mum loves cooking and dad believes homemade food is cheaper and healthier than anywhere else. When we do go to a restaurant or a fast food, as both counts for "food outing" in our book, it's mainly during a trip or to mark an occasion, such as birthday or nameday.
I agree with you on the toilet and costs statements, the second of which being another reason for my dad to use his favourite joke on being stripped of his last shirt or letting him go with empty bags. And all that given we as well order something not too cheap or costly.
Rules regarding loading the dishwasher are the one of the biggest battlefields between children and parents in my family, as I think that's basically cleaning them instead of the dishwasher. But I'm not the rule setter, so I can only oppose verbally.
I too think that fast foods are better, because they are saving the time needed to be spent on eating. And I totally agree with your thought on this awkward feeling while waiting for the bill, which in the past always led me to imagine what would happen if the payment was rejected.
When it comes to refills and bathroom urge, it's a big problem only during travel, as it infuriates my dad when he has to stop every gas station (or woods, if not on the highway). That's why it's prohibited for us to take them on trips.
Fast food places are a trap on road trips. I always tell myself I'm not going to drink anything, and then I have a bunch of diet soda. Half an hour down the road, calamity.
This was the first of your newsletters I’ve had the pleasure of reading/hearing. I was actually surprised I enjoyed it so much, partly because it sounds a whole lot like my parents and we four offspring (I was the eldest, brothers year later, our little sisters 6 and 8 years behind me). Thank you for making me smile today. I look forward to reading more.
I do not like shopping of any sort, particularly grocery shopping. My husband loves it and tells me I’m not a “normal woman”. He usually loves shopping, loves finding things on sale and using coupon, when he can find them. If we need to go to several stores or have appointments we try to combine things into one trip to town. This is when he starts planning our route like a battle plan and he tells me what time we need to be on the road so I can be sure he’s up and ready to go. I like to use lists when grocery shopping and if it’s not, I don’t get it unless it’s for an important reason. Husband is a “wild card”when shopping, he’s an impulse buyer at times , if he something on sees sale he wants to get it whether we really need it or not. So I go with him to try and keep him reined in some.
Anyway, I was wondering, what your views on this topic might be, James?
Thanks for letting me ramble awhile.
I hate shopping in person. It seems so random. What are the odd I'm going to stumble across the best possible deal? Most likely, all overlook something and end up paying too much. That is my nightmare. Maybe your husband can shop for both of us.
If it paid better I could grocery shop for a living. The ONLY kind of shopping I like.
I remember being at a Red Lobster when there was a large family there with many children. Figuring children don't eat everything on their plate, I wondered just whose idea it was to go there knowing it was going to cost them an arm and a leg. We eat at a sit-down restaurant normally once a week on date night with friends. We've noticed in the past 6 months our bill (2 people), for the same food, has increased from about $45 to $60, without tip. Even the fast-food places have really upped their prices - nowhere is cheap anymore, period.
I think we just quit going out to eat once the kids couldn't be held captive in high chairs. It wasn't worth being exhausted from making sure the kids behaved and were under control, which wasn't fair to us or to them since they were, well, kids. Waiting a long time for the meal to be served could be disastrous for young ones who were hungry and bored.
I think as a kid, my family only ate out maybe once a year - when the tax refund came in. I bet my mom would have loved to have had a night off once in awhile but eating at home was the rule for most every family back then. I love having the choice and the means to be able to eat out but it is more for just getting out of the house and to give MrP a break from cooking. Just don't take me to a place with so much noise that I cannot hear myself think!
Growing up, we also ate almost all of our meals at home. But every once in a while my parents would pick up pizza or McDonald's. What more could you need? To a child, that's the height of luxury.
I grew up in a family of eight. If you think this would make it easier at a restaurant you'd be wrong. Yes, four people per booth is roomy. But, as any horror movie fan or D&D player can tell you, a party split leads to doom. I think you and my father share the same outlook on venues. I clearly recall the tipping point when my father asked my mother where she'd like to eat out, and with a sigh that was as firm as steal she responded, "Anyplace I don't have to unwrap my food." I saw a tiny bit of my dad die upon hearing those words. To the best of my recollection he has never taken her to a fast food place since. Now, he's in his ninties and shes in her eighties, and he will jump at any opportunity to each out with any of us. The last time when it was just the two of us he pointing to a Taco Bell. "What do they serve there?" We hit the drive-in and ate in the parking lot. I introduced him to various degree of hot sauces that came in packets.
Sounds like your dad is finally living his best life. We're living in the Golden age of fast food. Way to secure your spot as his favorite child.
I’m so sorry for your budget… but very happy for your family. My husband and I eat out about once a week and luckily our kids are grown ups with their own set of kids. I agree with your points ( such as calories in the food or when the meal will arrive to the table). I only suggest to go to a restaurant as early as possible during a weekday ( for instance right after school is over). That gives the restaurant staff time to recover from the shock of your family of six and allows the food to arrive soon to your grumbling stomach. Regarding the money… you better finish your sequel book and start pushing the ones you already wrote even harder. You have a captive audience here… just keep telling us how interesting, entertaining and good your books are!
I'd have to write a 12 book series to cover our new food budget. I guess I better start sending out some query letters.
I think you are just scared of injuring yourself while writing…
Fair compromise would be (since you're willing to go out weekly at all), that the kids have to eat something OTHER than fried chicken or grilled cheese because those are so ridiculously overpriced. Ramen and boba is a great start to that end.
And I thought it was common knowledge that cereal is an all-day food. And for midnight snacking. And for those times when you wake up ravenous at 3am. Cereal is 24x7x365.
I'm happy to find a fellow cereal acolyte here. It is indeed the greatest of all possible foods. I'd be open to having it for Thanksgiving dinner. There's truly never a bad time for Lucky Charms.
Oh...so many thoughts...
1) Ramen and boba? I’m confused. Is this the same boba that is the little gelatin balls that are served in milk tea drinks? Do they go in the ramen? Or what’s the connection??
2) I know much of your commentary is just for fun, but as you are the father of four young girls, I must share my initial reaction to your newsletter: I’m the mother of a 13-year old with an eating disorder, and I beg you not to spend so much time counting calories and thinking about the differences in amount of fat in foods from different kitchens, and if you do, PLEASE don’t let your daughters hear you, know about it, or read your newsletters where you talk about it. Eating disorders are NOT only occurring in “problem kids”, overweight kids, kids from bad families, etc. They are genetic, metabolic and neurological, and anyone can get one through insufficient food for their body’s needs, and this can be triggered by even a small restriction caused by worrying about things like calories or fat.
3) I’m totally with you on cereal being an all-day food, and Lucky Charms is definitely my cereal of choice when I’m in the US (and I frequently request it as a hostess gift from visitors!).
4) Yeah for your family’s intervention! Perhaps you need to up the game to enjoy it more? My husband and I ate out a LOT before having kids (my kids all came AFTER I turned 40), so we’ve tried to at least continue to some extent, and mostly they enjoy fine dining now too. But you’re absolutely right, a family of 5 or more tends to create consternation everywhere we go...
The boba is in the tea, not the ramen. Easily our most expensive meal of the week, and most of the kids hated it. And thus another pricey experiment comes to an end.
Very, very funny, as always. Thank you. Although the vast majority of all this regards other eating out with four kids issues, your comment in passing on the profitability of restaurants is spot on. We’re you an attorney specializing in bankruptcy before you started writing?
I was not, but I've seen enough restaurants close and reopen in the same storefront to realize nobody's getting rich here. My heart goes out to anybody who tries to make it work in that industry. It looks like I'll be unwittingly helping them in their quest to break even.
hilarious
I have a love/hate relationship with eating out. Someone else does the grocery shopping/prepping/clean up plus everyone gets something unique? Win! But, as another commenter pointed out, it's becoming very pricey to eat put these days. I actually usually eat out when someone else is paying (hello job perks), and will settle for cooking at home otherwise.
Even I can't complain when someone else takes us out to eat and puts the bill. That seldom happens, though. I don't know many millionaires who can afford to wine and dine us.
"That's one hill I'll die on." Man, I love your way with words!! Also, your self-deprecating humour (Canadian, sorry) is hilarious. But I don't believe it conceals a good husband and father, and a decent human. Keep up your amazing manipulation of words!!
Thanks! For the record, I love the extra U's and words. I think it makes you sound classy.
How was the boba? We love it and we go out for ramen and boba as often as we can get away with. We have 1 kid so we haven't had the same escapades as you, but we go out with friends who do so I get it. The expense of 3 seems like a lot to us, so, yeah, 6...
And the comment about your hunger response not working. Oh my goodness you must be my brother. Mine doesn't either. Like, at all. And I'm petite and have always remained trim. But if something tastes good I eat and eat. I've likened myself to a pig because I understand they actually don't have a feeling of being full, so if they aren't stopped they'll eat until their stomachs explode. I get near that sadly fairly often. My grandpa always called it "foundering." I'm glad I'm not the only one and thank goodness for fast metabolisms.....
The struggle is real. Although, for the record, I did actually see a pig get full once. The automatic feeder I hung in the tree fell down, and it dumped 25 lbs of pellets on the ground. That was a quarter of my pig's body weight. She ate until even she had to give up and take a nap. I thought hell was going to freeze over.
Yes that’s right you have direct piggy experience. Sometimes I do give up and have to nap as well..
Many places don't make you wait for the bill. On the table there is a little kiosk where you can pay your bill whenever you are ready. However, they usually have games on them that cost money. Your $100 dining bill, plus tip, min 20% = $120, playing games will add another $10 giving you a grand total of $130 or more. Sorry James, you just made an expensive decision ;o)
I actually like those tablets, but you're right: they're full of traps. Click the wrong spot and you're down another 10 bucks. It's a fast way to go bankrupt.