I have a 5 year old son and a 2 year old son. We saw my parents this weekend and I told them, on behalf of my and my sisters, I wanted to formally apologize for all the whining, complaining, and arguing we did as kids. It is exhausting to get all that pushback all the time!!
Having raised two daughters (two years apart), I can tell you that you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Teens can get in more advanced trouble due to their ages and somewhat more developed brains.
We must have done something right because they both have advanced degrees. One has her Master's, the other her doctorate. First Ph.D in the family. She teaches Criminology and Sociology at the college level.
There is some hope though. The Ph.D kid was very easy to raise. Her sister not so much. 😉
If only fifty percent of our kids are impossible, the outlook is still pretty bleak. Congrats on surviving your own child rearing adventure. I hope to join you successfully on the other side someday.
I think it doesn't have to be as it's depicted. Actually after becoming a teenager I have in not a long time of the recent couple of years established a much better dynamic in my relationship with parents (especially with my dad) and I don't recall causing many sparky quarrells (perhaps due to my personality), so maybe not all hope is lost. Of course I had and still have some complaints, such as "better" solutions in doing chores or deciding how I wanna spend my free time, but we started to have fun on a whole different level (for example gaming, attending soccer matches together, exchanging memes, jokes, thoughts on Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings, organising plants in the garden and many more). And I couldn't be more happy & grateful for how this development went.
I hope we get to that next level relationship like you have with your parents. I have that with my parents, too. I think my kids will follow in that pattern eventually. But eventually can sometimes be a long time.
Only one kid to raise thru the teen years, and looking back those 7 years feel like 7 seconds, although at the time it was 7 trillion billion million years. I'm spreading the word to my siblings with their soon-to-be teens to try and enjoy these times, since they do fly by and you suddenly realize how much you miss the teenage experience.
Your family is so cute! I am loving hearing all about your girls and YOUR growing pains as a father. I have an only daughter who just turned 18 and is graduating high school this spring. The hubby and I are just stunned that this is happening "all of a sudden." We were JUST going to those elementary school family dances, embarrassing her and being the only parents on the dance floor! It flies by, I tell you. We have found having a teenager to be fun and that it gets better and better with each passing day. Enjoy every minute. I know it's different with 4, but that also quadruples the joy! You are a lucky guy, but you know that... Upgrading to paid now. What else am I going to do besides read when I'm an empty nester??? :-(
And I look forward to hearing about them all. If my daughter decides to go to IU Bloomington, which she is very seriously considering, we'll stop by and join the fun. ;-)
Your post brought me almost to tears. It’s so good you are keeping a sort of journal as your children grow! I didn’t realize the “last elementary school dance” was the last, or so special, till later. Yes, they become teenagers and don’t want to be seen with us SO fast! I thought my sweet older daughter wasn’t going to get like that, and she didn’t until 12th grade senioritis, and then-ouch! And her younger sister picked up on the attitude and still isn’t over it. So enjoy these sweet days and thanks for sharing the experience. Having young children is such an odd mixture of fun and exhaustion, memories may keep you from running away from home when they become meanagers.
You hit the nail on the head with "fun and exhaustion." You'd think the two would be mutually exclusive, but somehow I permanently feel both at the same time.
I remember being twelve years old ( my memory is pretty good considering my age), I was either “too old for” or “too young for”, it drove me insane. I was too old to use the swings in the park ( according to adults in my life) and I was too young to use nail polish. This applied to almost everything I wanted to do. Today I do whatever I want and I don’t care if I’m too old ( I doubt anyone said I’m too young for something). I’m glad you were able to navigate this year dance with grace. 💕
I remember that awkward in-between stage, too. As challenging as being a parent is, I still think it's way easier than being a kid. You couldn't pay me enough to go back and do it all over again.
I agree! I never understood when people say they would like to start over their lives. I wouldn’t like to be a child and a teenager again. I could compromise being 35 years old again if I could stay retired 🤣
Back in the Medieval and Renaissance eras, if you were in a noble family, you could dump your kids on another family after a while—in your case, the girls would learn manners and how to run a proper household. (Ordering the servants around and making herbal medicines, among other things.) And they'd usually stay until they got married, unless they found a place at court.
The downside is that other families would send *you* their kids to learn the exact same sorts of things, so you'd never truly escape. 😂
'Being many different ages in a single afternoon': Bingo. They want to be independent but still will give you a cuddle on the couch. We didn't particularly have any troubles with either of our kids being a teenager so it isn't a guaranteed horrible 4 or 5 years by any means. And, 'life comes at you fast'- I can easily shed a tear these days just thinking of when the kids were at home, learning to grow up. Each age brings something different or challenging and things I thought were bumpy back then were no big deal as I look back. Kids. They're awesome! (And so is your family picture.)
My daughter's school went from K-8 in one school - the joy of small town living also means you have to volunteer for a lot so I knew most of the kids in her class and their parents. High school was the consolidated one the next town over. 7 and 8 grade were the very very worst years for mean girl syndrome. And dealing with copious tears for two years from my poor soft-hearted empathetic daughter who was not one but had what she thought were friends from all those years together. We lived through it, but geez, not for the faint-hearted. My husband insisted frequently during that time that boys were not like that, that if those things happened to them they had a fist-fight and were friends again the next day and that girls were evil. A bunch of us Moms were all sitting on the bleachers one day and one Mom was complaining about mean girls and one of the others said you know I hear all the time about how mean the girls are now but I ask my daughter and she says no, so who is being mean? And we all stared at her. Like how do you say, well the reason your daughter says no is because she is one of the worst.....
Lol, what an awkward moment for self-realization. I wonder if the parents of the mean kids really don't know or if they just choose to look the other way.
I have a 5 year old son and a 2 year old son. We saw my parents this weekend and I told them, on behalf of my and my sisters, I wanted to formally apologize for all the whining, complaining, and arguing we did as kids. It is exhausting to get all that pushback all the time!!
It is. I remember doing it, too. And now my kids are doing it to me. Children have it hard coded into their DNA to punish the prior generation.
Having raised two daughters (two years apart), I can tell you that you ain't seen nuthin' yet. Teens can get in more advanced trouble due to their ages and somewhat more developed brains.
We must have done something right because they both have advanced degrees. One has her Master's, the other her doctorate. First Ph.D in the family. She teaches Criminology and Sociology at the college level.
There is some hope though. The Ph.D kid was very easy to raise. Her sister not so much. 😉
If only fifty percent of our kids are impossible, the outlook is still pretty bleak. Congrats on surviving your own child rearing adventure. I hope to join you successfully on the other side someday.
I think it doesn't have to be as it's depicted. Actually after becoming a teenager I have in not a long time of the recent couple of years established a much better dynamic in my relationship with parents (especially with my dad) and I don't recall causing many sparky quarrells (perhaps due to my personality), so maybe not all hope is lost. Of course I had and still have some complaints, such as "better" solutions in doing chores or deciding how I wanna spend my free time, but we started to have fun on a whole different level (for example gaming, attending soccer matches together, exchanging memes, jokes, thoughts on Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings, organising plants in the garden and many more). And I couldn't be more happy & grateful for how this development went.
I hope we get to that next level relationship like you have with your parents. I have that with my parents, too. I think my kids will follow in that pattern eventually. But eventually can sometimes be a long time.
Star Wars and Lord of the Rings for the win!!😋
Only one kid to raise thru the teen years, and looking back those 7 years feel like 7 seconds, although at the time it was 7 trillion billion million years. I'm spreading the word to my siblings with their soon-to-be teens to try and enjoy these times, since they do fly by and you suddenly realize how much you miss the teenage experience.
Raising kids does weird things with the passage of time. This weekend was a seven-seconds moment for us.
Your family is so cute! I am loving hearing all about your girls and YOUR growing pains as a father. I have an only daughter who just turned 18 and is graduating high school this spring. The hubby and I are just stunned that this is happening "all of a sudden." We were JUST going to those elementary school family dances, embarrassing her and being the only parents on the dance floor! It flies by, I tell you. We have found having a teenager to be fun and that it gets better and better with each passing day. Enjoy every minute. I know it's different with 4, but that also quadruples the joy! You are a lucky guy, but you know that... Upgrading to paid now. What else am I going to do besides read when I'm an empty nester??? :-(
Thanks! I look forward to sharing all our misadventures x4 with you.
And I look forward to hearing about them all. If my daughter decides to go to IU Bloomington, which she is very seriously considering, we'll stop by and join the fun. ;-)
Your post brought me almost to tears. It’s so good you are keeping a sort of journal as your children grow! I didn’t realize the “last elementary school dance” was the last, or so special, till later. Yes, they become teenagers and don’t want to be seen with us SO fast! I thought my sweet older daughter wasn’t going to get like that, and she didn’t until 12th grade senioritis, and then-ouch! And her younger sister picked up on the attitude and still isn’t over it. So enjoy these sweet days and thanks for sharing the experience. Having young children is such an odd mixture of fun and exhaustion, memories may keep you from running away from home when they become meanagers.
You hit the nail on the head with "fun and exhaustion." You'd think the two would be mutually exclusive, but somehow I permanently feel both at the same time.
I remember being twelve years old ( my memory is pretty good considering my age), I was either “too old for” or “too young for”, it drove me insane. I was too old to use the swings in the park ( according to adults in my life) and I was too young to use nail polish. This applied to almost everything I wanted to do. Today I do whatever I want and I don’t care if I’m too old ( I doubt anyone said I’m too young for something). I’m glad you were able to navigate this year dance with grace. 💕
I remember that awkward in-between stage, too. As challenging as being a parent is, I still think it's way easier than being a kid. You couldn't pay me enough to go back and do it all over again.
I agree! I never understood when people say they would like to start over their lives. I wouldn’t like to be a child and a teenager again. I could compromise being 35 years old again if I could stay retired 🤣
Back in the Medieval and Renaissance eras, if you were in a noble family, you could dump your kids on another family after a while—in your case, the girls would learn manners and how to run a proper household. (Ordering the servants around and making herbal medicines, among other things.) And they'd usually stay until they got married, unless they found a place at court.
The downside is that other families would send *you* their kids to learn the exact same sorts of things, so you'd never truly escape. 😂
It's just like asking a friend to babysit. You just end up babysitting in return. No free lunch.
'Being many different ages in a single afternoon': Bingo. They want to be independent but still will give you a cuddle on the couch. We didn't particularly have any troubles with either of our kids being a teenager so it isn't a guaranteed horrible 4 or 5 years by any means. And, 'life comes at you fast'- I can easily shed a tear these days just thinking of when the kids were at home, learning to grow up. Each age brings something different or challenging and things I thought were bumpy back then were no big deal as I look back. Kids. They're awesome! (And so is your family picture.)
Glad to hear yours weren't too difficult in their teenage years. This gives me hope.
My daughter's school went from K-8 in one school - the joy of small town living also means you have to volunteer for a lot so I knew most of the kids in her class and their parents. High school was the consolidated one the next town over. 7 and 8 grade were the very very worst years for mean girl syndrome. And dealing with copious tears for two years from my poor soft-hearted empathetic daughter who was not one but had what she thought were friends from all those years together. We lived through it, but geez, not for the faint-hearted. My husband insisted frequently during that time that boys were not like that, that if those things happened to them they had a fist-fight and were friends again the next day and that girls were evil. A bunch of us Moms were all sitting on the bleachers one day and one Mom was complaining about mean girls and one of the others said you know I hear all the time about how mean the girls are now but I ask my daughter and she says no, so who is being mean? And we all stared at her. Like how do you say, well the reason your daughter says no is because she is one of the worst.....
Lol, what an awkward moment for self-realization. I wonder if the parents of the mean kids really don't know or if they just choose to look the other way.
I've often wondered that.
Here’s crossed fingers🤞🏽 that Betsy doesn’t have the typical horrible teen years. I do know a couple of people who admit they sailed thru it!
Here's hoping she realizes we're not the enemy. I'll keep you posted.
I started reading your newsletters when Betsy was 8... how did this happen so fast!!
I can only imagine Waffle's teenage years...