43 Comments
Jul 8Liked by James Breakwell

Your description of events, are hysterically worded perfectly!

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With such a beautifully intricate staircase, I'd put up with an occasional splinter. I know they are painful, tho. My folks' yard had wooden beamed steps going down their yard into the back woods area and our kids were always getting splinters. Our 3-year old daughter got a particularly nasty one in her little behind from falling on them. We literally had to sit on her to get it out, her screaming bloody murder the whole time. It was deep but at least big and long enough we could get hold of it to yank it out. (She's now 44 and has never forgotten it.) And you are right - we women can wield tweezers and needles as an innate life skill. MrP says I always get an evil glint in my eyes when subjecting him to that ability.

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That love of tweezing things scares me to my core. Women are not to be taken lightly.

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The bargain is great! The time has come for me to make a hat-trick of purchases for The Chosen Twelve e-book. And the sequel will make a fine addition to my collection.

I can feel the pain only looking at this splinter. I'm relieved to know it's removed! So far I had the splinters only on my hands, and in that case I usually try to get them out with a help of a needle or by trying to suck/pull them in my mouth.

When it comes to unusual and strong pain, one Saturday this April I woke up with a terrible pain in my neck. Not only wasn't I able to stretch my neck muscles and get up, I couldn't even lie in any position other than the one I found myself that morning, which was laying on my back with my head turned gently right. After many attempts, I finally was able to stand up, but the only way for me to move was by holding tight the hurting part of my neck with my arm. It was the backside part on the right side, so being a lefty I could hold stuff with my main hand. Painkillers helped only a little. I somehow made it through the day, and on the next morning the pain was almost completely gone. I don't know what caused that neck pain, as no unusual activity done before comes to my mind.

As for running on stairs, with my siblings we believed it was just fine. We had however a rule that stated overtaking was prohibited on stairs, unless somebody stopped walking. There was one exception to it - you could overtake on the landing midway of the stairs, which makes for a great hairpin turn. The short version of the rule was often shouted while escaping one another going both up and downstairs through all the segments. It could be translated as "don't overtake on the stairs" [while on the first segment of stairs] - "you can overtake on landing" [while going through the landing platform midway the stairs] - "don't overtake on the stairs" [while on the second segment of stairs]. It took some caution to not bite the tongue when running and shouting at the same time.

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That random neck pain was a preview of things to come. Hopefully you don't fall apart as much as I did. As for stairs, there naturally the race track of the house. I don't make the rules. Wait, I'm supposed to.

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Thanks, I hope so too. Luckily, I haven't got anything serious since some sort of pox as a four-year-old. And as nobody from us ever broke a leg (so far), I say running and jumping on the stairs is perfectly safe 😄.

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Yeah he's just a pup, neck pain is just the start. LOL

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Splinters are the worst. Your staircase is gorgeous!! Glad you had a great time with family and in Mpls too, a wonderful spot if I do say so myself.

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The only downside of Minneapolis is it's basically on the other side of the earth. I wish it was about six hours closer.

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Haha (where by "earth" you mean "Wisconsin" 😂). You put the book plug at the beginning so I forgot about it until I saw it posted on threads. I picked them both up!

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Wow I totally get it. I stepped on a fishhook once that went through my second toe. I was more upset that the ex left tackle in the house than I was at the excruciating pain. I made him pull it out. Glad your aunt had a brilliant idea! My dog just chewed up my bug bite thing and I immediately ordered a new one! I don’t want to brag, but I’m pretty popular with the mosquitoes. 🦟

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I was the very last person to find out about the Big Bite Thing, but it really works, at least as far as splinters are concerned.

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Me, too! And I’m allergic to mosquito bites; it’s not pretty. I need to look into the bug bite thing.

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I love it! Really helps with the itch.

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Savlon is a cream you can buy in the UK and a tiny bit makes mosquito bites disappear within a couple hours. It’s a miracle product and not even marketed to that purpose.

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Splinters are awful! More pain than most childbirths. I need to find that kind of suction thing! My grandson loves going barefoot and gets splinters periodically. I’m betting his baby sister will do the same. Glad you didn’t lose a foot!

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It's a useful skill all around. Thankfully, Lola handles our splinter pulling duties with the kids.

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m proud to say I bought both these books at full price. Or maybe I bought your autograph for $Whatever x 2 minus $1.98. Doesn’t matter - it was worth it.

My foot is now in agony! I’m looking for ointment, gauze, and ice and checking on my tetanus booster and antibiotic levels as I write.

But that staircase! Stunning!

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Thanks for getting the books! Physical books are better anyway because they still work if the power goes out. That should be useful in the apocalypse. As for your foot, I recommend bringing it to the attention of an aunt with an unusual set of skills.

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Back in the dark ages, my friends and I were playing on a VERY OLD merry-go-round. It worked well but had wooden seats. We would push and then jump on thrusting our feet thru the opening and flop on the seat. When I jumped on and sat, there was a sharp pain on the back of my thigh. I jumped off and checked, but there was no blood, nothing to feel, and no pain. I was about 10 years old and still had "quiet time" after lunch. They were more for my parent's sanity than a rest time for me. About a week later, while resting, I felt something wet on the back of my leg and upon checking there was a splinter poking out. I pulled it out and it was at least 2-3 inches long, along with the pus that my body was fighting the splinter with. I shared it later that day with a couple of my cohorts who had been with me on the merry-go-round. I made quite an impression until later in the week one of my buddies popped his own boil on his leg while we were sitting in a tree talking.

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Childhood was tougher back then. I can't imagine a splinter that big going in so far, especially when you were so small yourself. It would have been like getting stabbed by a spear. Don't let this go to your head, but you might be immortal.

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I think I need to clarify re my splinter, it didn't go straight in. Think sliding motion with the leg across the wooden seat. The splinter was lateral to the thigh under the skin a couple of millimeters. Thanks for thinking I might be immortal! After some of the stunts I've pulled in my life, I probably am immortal ;o)

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Pool Aunt to the rescue.. she's great 🤗

Making next generation memories for a lifetime... also great 🤗

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That whole crew is pretty solid. That's why I drive so far to see them.

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My local bookstore just had your new book in the window! I plan on picking it up this weekend. Yes, I will also buy the ebook versions.

We have got to work on your beer palate. Or the kind of craft beers that are available out in Ohio.

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The window! That's actually pretty cool. Usually I'm more a bottom shelf way in the back kind of guy.

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Thet plugged you on the mailing list!

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I had a similar experience with a splinter on vacation when I was 16. I have no idea how it got there. I just suddenly could not put any weight on my heel. My parents relied on a doctor to take it out because it could not be seen. Once out, everything was fine.

I bought your two books on the cheap. Thanks. I went to my book downloads and there was the first one. I haven’t read it yet. Now I have the opportunity to read both. I also think I bought both of them twice. Technology and I do not mix.

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Thanks for getting the books! I'm thrilled any time I can get anyone to read them. As for the splinter, I'm impressed your doctor removed it. My doctor would have removed me from his office instead.

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Your foot was probably getting ready to form an abscess around that splinter. Pool Aunt saved the weekend for you! I am sure the beer and food was much more enjoyable without that 2'x4' in your foot.

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It was trending in a bad direction. I'm extremely lucky Pool Aunt came to my rescue.

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You’re missing out on your first million. Call the Bug Bite Sucker people and make a deal for your Splinter Sucker device! You’ll relieve so much suffering in the world and get rich doing it.

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They would probably pay me not to mention them. Nobody wants to be associated with my unique brand of self destruction.

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Well, that depends. Is this region-limited, James? I have a suspicion it is. But yay for removing splinters!

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Should be available world wide. The publisher is in the UK and had worldwide English rights.

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Ah, excellent! That makes a pleasant change to most of the $0.99 promotions I see - I appreciate the quick clarification! :)

Hope your foot hasn't got infected 👍

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I am shocked you did not get a serious infections from what you put your heel through. You need to cut down on the females in your family being your nurses. Go to the doctor next time. As a matter of fact you should get that heel x-rayed even though it doesn't hurt. Take care of your yourself.

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For some reason it doesn't affect guys like it does woman, you or I would have ended up in the hospital with a major infection, guys just seem, for the most part, to have a better immune system or something.

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Glad your “medical emergency” got sorted and didn’t ruin your annual summer trip with an emergency room visit!

I’m overloaded with audio books, but I have the paper books and I LOVED THE GODS OF SPENSER ISLAND!! What a fantastic read! I finished it last weekend in 2 days flat. This is such a great book. I really liked The Chosen Twelve, but this sequel is even better — good story, well developed characters, edge-of-your-seat suspense, writing that just moves you along through the story. Fantastic job! I’ve done a review on Goodreads :-)

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