Day one of Halloween is in the books. When it comes to doing the holiday right, we’re getting better, by which I mean lazier. Saturday was our first time trying on our costumes as a group and our first public appearance with them. With just days to go until trick-or-treating, it was a little late in the game to be field testing our outfits. Even with expedited shipping, if something didn’t fit right, there wasn’t time to replace it. The only way to avoid that risk would have been to plan ahead, which definitely wasn’t in my wheelhouse. Consequently, I don’t know what a wheelhouse is or why putting intangible skills in that physical space implies a level of aptitude. Maybe the workers who ran the water wheel goofed off all day, which gave them time to develop other talents when they should have been working. That also might explain why water wheel workers had such a high rate of accidents. Perhaps what “within my wheelhouse” actually means is that something is likely to make you lose an arm or leg in a catastrophic water wheel control room accident. I could have skipped this entire paragraph by taking literally two seconds to Google the phrase, yet here I am spreading speculative misinformation on the internet instead. If that doesn’t sum up my role in the world as a comedy writer, I don’t know what does. Anyway, we are talking about Halloween or something.
As a nursing home social worker, I can attest to the fact nursing home parties are crazy! And trust me, the residents there absolutely adore looking at everyone in their costumes. So fun!! Nursing homes are the best places to visit during the holidays because no matter what, they always love visitors spreading holiday love!! ❤️
I bought some candy this year in the foolish hope that since a few families have moved in on our street, we might get some kids this year. I told them to invite their friends, too. Normally, we get as many as there are thumbs on my hands. Living on the far end of a dead end street in the Bible Belt will do that. A few stoners have complained* about finding candy in their weed, though. 😉
*After they snarfed it down, of course. They're stoners, not stupid.
That was my guess, and lord help the crew with an incompetent in the wheelhouse.
Our dad, as I’ve mentioned before, was a naval officer and a highly competent one. Our youngest sister followed him into the navy and deployed on a cruise around Central and South America that he had commanded twice some twenty years earlier. When she reported that the skipper of the ship she was assigned to made her fear for her life, I had severe cognitive dissonance. I thought the uniform made the man, but I was wrong.
The cruise itself is pretty cool. The US Navy circumnavigates East to West one year, and West to East the next. They interoperate with the much smaller navies of Americas and provide crucial training. In port, they send sailors to various good works, such as rebuilding or repainting orphanages and such (if you know anything about maintaining floating vessels, you know there’s a whole heck of a lot of painting). One of dad’s years leading Unitas, our mom traveled in the interior with the Navy’s show band the Commodores and had a heck of a great time.
Now that I think about it, she didn’t return as the band’s greatest groupie because dad had to relieve that year’s commander when he was asleep, not at the wheel, but in his quarters below, as the ship’s captain had an accident at the Panama Canal with a Liberian flagged freighter. Liberia has pretty low costs and standards, and ships so flagged can be a menace on the seas. Alas, it was not their fault, but the USN’s, as the ship’s captain did not make necessary course corrections. Steaming ahead into ships LINED UP to enter the canal is well, dumb, and career ending. So, unfortunately, that was the outcome for the captain and the admiral.
I didn’t properly internalize then that not all naval officers were first class like dad! Guess I am a slow learner.
As far as this year, we are invited to the grandkids kids’ event, where the whole neighborhood gathers at the pool and walks the cup de sacs together and the empty nesters sit out and enjoy adult beverages.
I meant cul de sacs--the old folks have the cups de sac!
Last year a dad on one of the cul de sacs brought out his hot air balloon and fired it up, offering brief flights straight up and back down. My daughter refused to let her 6,4 and 1 year olds go aloft. They didn’t really seem too disappointed, as the flames and noise were impressive and maybe scary.
Your costumes are stunning, it seems you had good fun, what to want more? Tons of candy, obviously! I loved reading all that & I'm happy you maximise the occasion. Hope that you'll be able to beat the last year's loot!
I think I've mentioned that Halloween isn't a big thing in my country. In my family we think most of the reasons behind why that is are BS, so we often have meals consisting of pumpkins growing in our garden and buy ourselves some sweets. Especially my mum is against not celebrating Halloween, so almost each year (if the pumpkins grow big enough to be seen from the street) she's sparing her biggest one to be decorated and put in our front yard.
THAT’S how you do Halloween!! Sounds like a blast really. I cracked up at the panda because my BIL got one like that as Porky Pig. It was okay until he tried to get inside the trailer where the kids were. His head was even close. I’ll treasure that video forever, lol. We’ve been getting less and less kids throughout the years and this year it will be 25 out. I think just sticking the bowl out there is gonna have to do. Happy Halloween you you and the troops!
We're also leaving out a bowl while we go trick or treating. We could just keep the candy we start with rather than giving some away and going out to collect more, but it just wouldn't be the same.
Halloween was always a big thing in my family. I’m one of nine kids and the candy haul was always stupendous. My favorite Halloween, however, was the year that my nephew, and I purchased 18 pumpkins for a family pumpkin carving contest. We announced the event about a month in advance to give all the adults and kids time to prepare. It was spectacular. I come from a pretty artsy family, so they all brought extra decorations for their pumpkins. I tried, but failed to find the pictures.
Your family's cute costumes sure beat what our daughter used to just HAVE to dress up as..... an accident victim. There was something about smearing red paint all over her face and ripped up clothes that made her happy. And yes, she grew up to be normal, lol. I miss the whole neighborhood out and about on H'ween eve.....now we are lucky if we get 10 kids for the entire evening. There were a couple of years when my mom was still living at home but very frail, we'd go to her house and answer the door for the kids. She really enjoyed seeing them and their costumes.
Thank you so much for going to see Grandpa, so many never get any visits. I am so jealous of the number of pumpkins, I love baked pumpkin seeds, guess I better see if my Walmart has marked them down
I would invite you to Lord Hashtags home haunt but fear even with the thousands of pieces of quality candy I have it may not be enough for your Minions. By the way I also love the Minions and have a stuffed one in my Man Cave/Colts room. I would also like to start a petition to end truck or treating. I feel it is a complete cheat and all the old folks who live at home don't get to see kids who don't "work" for their candy . They want to see the costumes as well. Last but not least my bride is just now carving the last of our pumpkins . Good thing, the temps last week would have deflated most in the area. Hope you all have a safe and candy filled holiday.
Our first and second batches of pumpkins melted in the heat. Thankfully, Indiana kindly brought in artic conditions this week to keep our last batch around for a while. As for trunk or treating, never fear: All those kids will still go out to do regular trick or treating. It just gives them a chance to use their costumes twice.
Ah, so much fun here. LOVE the wheelhouse references...it is a phrase I wish I remembered to use more. And I had a good laugh at an unintentional grammar slip. You wrote about Jerry and his wife and kid, and then said “He wore a panda...” so I expected the he to be the kid. I can tell you I experienced a lot of humorous dissonance when I then got to the photo, because that was clearly no kid.
Very fun to read.
As a nursing home social worker, I can attest to the fact nursing home parties are crazy! And trust me, the residents there absolutely adore looking at everyone in their costumes. So fun!! Nursing homes are the best places to visit during the holidays because no matter what, they always love visitors spreading holiday love!! ❤️
It was the best Halloween party I've attended so far. It was also the only one. 10/10 would attend again.
Halloween Eve^3? 🤔
I bought some candy this year in the foolish hope that since a few families have moved in on our street, we might get some kids this year. I told them to invite their friends, too. Normally, we get as many as there are thumbs on my hands. Living on the far end of a dead end street in the Bible Belt will do that. A few stoners have complained* about finding candy in their weed, though. 😉
*After they snarfed it down, of course. They're stoners, not stupid.
Houses like yours are the best ones to hit. That's when people just dump the whole bowl in my kids' bags because no one else is coming.
Wheelhouse
1. a part of a boat or ship serving as a shelter for the person at the wheel.
So instead of losing an arm, you can sink the entire boat. That's way more dangerous than my scenario.
That was my guess, and lord help the crew with an incompetent in the wheelhouse.
Our dad, as I’ve mentioned before, was a naval officer and a highly competent one. Our youngest sister followed him into the navy and deployed on a cruise around Central and South America that he had commanded twice some twenty years earlier. When she reported that the skipper of the ship she was assigned to made her fear for her life, I had severe cognitive dissonance. I thought the uniform made the man, but I was wrong.
The cruise itself is pretty cool. The US Navy circumnavigates East to West one year, and West to East the next. They interoperate with the much smaller navies of Americas and provide crucial training. In port, they send sailors to various good works, such as rebuilding or repainting orphanages and such (if you know anything about maintaining floating vessels, you know there’s a whole heck of a lot of painting). One of dad’s years leading Unitas, our mom traveled in the interior with the Navy’s show band the Commodores and had a heck of a great time.
Now that I think about it, she didn’t return as the band’s greatest groupie because dad had to relieve that year’s commander when he was asleep, not at the wheel, but in his quarters below, as the ship’s captain had an accident at the Panama Canal with a Liberian flagged freighter. Liberia has pretty low costs and standards, and ships so flagged can be a menace on the seas. Alas, it was not their fault, but the USN’s, as the ship’s captain did not make necessary course corrections. Steaming ahead into ships LINED UP to enter the canal is well, dumb, and career ending. So, unfortunately, that was the outcome for the captain and the admiral.
I didn’t properly internalize then that not all naval officers were first class like dad! Guess I am a slow learner.
That sounds much more complex than operating a water wheel. I couldn't be trusted with a multimillion dollar boat. I can barely handle a minivan.
As far as this year, we are invited to the grandkids kids’ event, where the whole neighborhood gathers at the pool and walks the cup de sacs together and the empty nesters sit out and enjoy adult beverages.
I meant cul de sacs--the old folks have the cups de sac!
Last year a dad on one of the cul de sacs brought out his hot air balloon and fired it up, offering brief flights straight up and back down. My daughter refused to let her 6,4 and 1 year olds go aloft. They didn’t really seem too disappointed, as the flames and noise were impressive and maybe scary.
This sounds like a quality event. Any excuse to sit outside and drink is okay by me.
Your costumes are stunning, it seems you had good fun, what to want more? Tons of candy, obviously! I loved reading all that & I'm happy you maximise the occasion. Hope that you'll be able to beat the last year's loot!
I've got to look up the record from last year. The kids are on a mission to top it.
I think I've mentioned that Halloween isn't a big thing in my country. In my family we think most of the reasons behind why that is are BS, so we often have meals consisting of pumpkins growing in our garden and buy ourselves some sweets. Especially my mum is against not celebrating Halloween, so almost each year (if the pumpkins grow big enough to be seen from the street) she's sparing her biggest one to be decorated and put in our front yard.
You could start a trend and make it big. Or, better yet, just buy yourself a bunch of candy.
THAT’S how you do Halloween!! Sounds like a blast really. I cracked up at the panda because my BIL got one like that as Porky Pig. It was okay until he tried to get inside the trailer where the kids were. His head was even close. I’ll treasure that video forever, lol. We’ve been getting less and less kids throughout the years and this year it will be 25 out. I think just sticking the bowl out there is gonna have to do. Happy Halloween you you and the troops!
We're also leaving out a bowl while we go trick or treating. We could just keep the candy we start with rather than giving some away and going out to collect more, but it just wouldn't be the same.
Piiiiictuures I neeeed theeem
Halloween was always a big thing in my family. I’m one of nine kids and the candy haul was always stupendous. My favorite Halloween, however, was the year that my nephew, and I purchased 18 pumpkins for a family pumpkin carving contest. We announced the event about a month in advance to give all the adults and kids time to prepare. It was spectacular. I come from a pretty artsy family, so they all brought extra decorations for their pumpkins. I tried, but failed to find the pictures.
I'm intimidated by your artsy pumpkins. We went for quantity over quality, and it shows.
Your family's cute costumes sure beat what our daughter used to just HAVE to dress up as..... an accident victim. There was something about smearing red paint all over her face and ripped up clothes that made her happy. And yes, she grew up to be normal, lol. I miss the whole neighborhood out and about on H'ween eve.....now we are lucky if we get 10 kids for the entire evening. There were a couple of years when my mom was still living at home but very frail, we'd go to her house and answer the door for the kids. She really enjoyed seeing them and their costumes.
Thank you so much for going to see Grandpa, so many never get any visits. I am so jealous of the number of pumpkins, I love baked pumpkin seeds, guess I better see if my Walmart has marked them down
My pigs ate all the seeds. They had so many they got sick of them. It takes a lot to over feed a pig.
I would invite you to Lord Hashtags home haunt but fear even with the thousands of pieces of quality candy I have it may not be enough for your Minions. By the way I also love the Minions and have a stuffed one in my Man Cave/Colts room. I would also like to start a petition to end truck or treating. I feel it is a complete cheat and all the old folks who live at home don't get to see kids who don't "work" for their candy . They want to see the costumes as well. Last but not least my bride is just now carving the last of our pumpkins . Good thing, the temps last week would have deflated most in the area. Hope you all have a safe and candy filled holiday.
Our first and second batches of pumpkins melted in the heat. Thankfully, Indiana kindly brought in artic conditions this week to keep our last batch around for a while. As for trunk or treating, never fear: All those kids will still go out to do regular trick or treating. It just gives them a chance to use their costumes twice.
Looks like you won't have to contend with a blizzard today! That should help with hitting up as many homes as humanly (or inhumanly) as possible!
Kris Haig, you have just saved me from explaining this space. It’s not nearly as dangerous as what James has conjured up! 😀
In my hands, it absolutely would be that dangerous.
Ah, so much fun here. LOVE the wheelhouse references...it is a phrase I wish I remembered to use more. And I had a good laugh at an unintentional grammar slip. You wrote about Jerry and his wife and kid, and then said “He wore a panda...” so I expected the he to be the kid. I can tell you I experienced a lot of humorous dissonance when I then got to the photo, because that was clearly no kid.
I love this pic so much! You and your family are awesome 😁