Nov 22, 2022 • 3M

Discussion Thread: The Best Method to Cook a Turkey

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James Breakwell
Family comedy one disaster at a time.
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What's your preferred method of turkey preparation? This one is gonna get controversial. Of course, there's always the oven. You can wake up at 2:00 AM and put the turkey in so it can cook for 30 minutes per pound or whatever it is. Full disclosure, I don't understand turkey math. I know it takes a very long time and requires one person not to sleep very much. Of course you could always have turkey for dinner, in which case the cooker can wait and wake up at a normal human time. But seriously, who wants to wait all day for the main meal? That seems like cruel and unusual punishment.

Then you could be one of the people on the current trend and smoke the meat. My brother-in-law is big into that. So is my dad. And another one of my brothers. Basically, every adult male at some point has to get really into smoking meat. I've never gone down that path because I don't think my taste buds work. Smoked meat tastes good, but not make-this-meat-take-six-extra-hours good. It's lik…

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