My daughter wanted to quit ballet when she was about 6 and had just been in for part of a year. I wasn't going to force her to continue of course, but then I got out of her that it was because a girl in her class stuck her tongue out at her on the playground at school and she was super hurt. I encouraged her gently to keep going and ignore that particular girl's behavior (unless it became bullying of course, which it didn't). The other girl quit after that year and my daughter ended up doing ballet all the way through high school and is still dancing in a group for non-majors college. All of her positive social activities, exercise, discipline, joy, and friends have pretty much come from dance. She had all the top roles in the Nutcracker eventually and was invited to the Joffrey. And she almost quit because of hurt feelings when she was tiny. I'm glad you asked gentle questions and got Waffle to reflect. If she doesn't end up sticking with it, it's also o.k., but by golly that train is waiting... ;-)
I'm hoping for an outcome like you had with your daughter. Things would have been so different if she had given up way back then. Whatever the reason Waffle left, she's back now. That what matters.
This den leader seems to be an angel in disguise! Nothing but sheer respect for him.
I like your pro-quitting approach. I believe wanting to try different things and the possibility to opt out (even if sometimes a fair sample of time, like a year, should be required) can only be beneficial and uplift the feeling of subjectivity and self-esteem of a child. Your policy is very inspirational for me.
I was allowed to do so only after providing a list of reasons in favor and a replacement activity, rarely I could bail out by being really unhappy. But there were times I had to give up the alternate stuff due to others' busy schedules, like when to avoid swimming-improving classes I picked sailing instead and was willing to put in a lot of effort to get to the lake far away for practice. As for guilt/shaming into coming back, that tactic was used on me only once - when the conductor of the choir I sang in wanted me to stay, she said I was wasting a "Singing Mozart"-scale talent.
The way the girls found out the Cub Scouts reminded me of how I twice signed up for robot programming by LEGO Mindstorms in primary school. The first time was after seeing a demonstration of it in a shopping mall, then after it was gone for a year I was hooked thanks to seeing a poster with children doing programming on laptops. Dreaming of having the possibility to use electronic-devices even for a short-strictly purposed time, my begging was successful and my mum signed me up. I really loved spending time on building, programming and running those robots.
I can see why Betsy had to make some cuts - when I was her age, having few intensive extracurricular activites plus participating in many knowledge competitions I sadly had to give up the hiking circle - I felt too exhaused after each week to spend several Saturdays in the mountains, despite that it meant doing little to no chores.
"(...) likes hanging out at home and doing nothing" - I was like that too. Yay for introverts!
Sailing sounds like an an amazing extra curricular activity. We're too landlocked to have anything like that around here. Did you live up to your "singing Mozart" billing? Those are some big shoes to fill.
Not really, I didn't stick for long after that. I felt no pleasure from singing in that choir, only pressure and stress. I may have wasted my talent, but at the time I didn't see that gift in me and was feeling relieved from getting dad's permission to quit.
My younger son tried a couple of sports, and didn't enjoy it like his brother did. He went into music and Boy Scouts and thrived. He still carries his Eagle Scout card.
Clicking with your troop/den is important. I really could be the lack of kids her age. Maybe insist some school friends to join with her? Evil, I know. But Waffle would be happy 😊
My son quit after the den leaders wife told him that his parents should be involved too. He came home crying. I have had 37 surgeries in the last 20 yrs, was working at the elementary school and being able to move at night was not in the cards. It wasn't like he was just dropped off, his best friend's dad took them both every week. I was beyond pissed (apparently still am LOL)
I'm glad you're the kind of dad who, despite what you try to portray, actually loves and talks to his kids. And I'm glad Waffle went back to scouts. I'm big on staying home and doing nothing, too, but scouts are cool.
OHHH sore spot for me here. I played sports growing up and hated those kids whose parents just let them drop the sport, including my Nephew. My nephew learned he could just quit if the going got tough and has carried that into adult hood. Not saying it happens to everyone, but please make them play out the season of whatever it is because teams can not get new players after the start of the season.
My daughter wanted to quit ballet when she was about 6 and had just been in for part of a year. I wasn't going to force her to continue of course, but then I got out of her that it was because a girl in her class stuck her tongue out at her on the playground at school and she was super hurt. I encouraged her gently to keep going and ignore that particular girl's behavior (unless it became bullying of course, which it didn't). The other girl quit after that year and my daughter ended up doing ballet all the way through high school and is still dancing in a group for non-majors college. All of her positive social activities, exercise, discipline, joy, and friends have pretty much come from dance. She had all the top roles in the Nutcracker eventually and was invited to the Joffrey. And she almost quit because of hurt feelings when she was tiny. I'm glad you asked gentle questions and got Waffle to reflect. If she doesn't end up sticking with it, it's also o.k., but by golly that train is waiting... ;-)
I'm hoping for an outcome like you had with your daughter. Things would have been so different if she had given up way back then. Whatever the reason Waffle left, she's back now. That what matters.
This den leader seems to be an angel in disguise! Nothing but sheer respect for him.
I like your pro-quitting approach. I believe wanting to try different things and the possibility to opt out (even if sometimes a fair sample of time, like a year, should be required) can only be beneficial and uplift the feeling of subjectivity and self-esteem of a child. Your policy is very inspirational for me.
I was allowed to do so only after providing a list of reasons in favor and a replacement activity, rarely I could bail out by being really unhappy. But there were times I had to give up the alternate stuff due to others' busy schedules, like when to avoid swimming-improving classes I picked sailing instead and was willing to put in a lot of effort to get to the lake far away for practice. As for guilt/shaming into coming back, that tactic was used on me only once - when the conductor of the choir I sang in wanted me to stay, she said I was wasting a "Singing Mozart"-scale talent.
The way the girls found out the Cub Scouts reminded me of how I twice signed up for robot programming by LEGO Mindstorms in primary school. The first time was after seeing a demonstration of it in a shopping mall, then after it was gone for a year I was hooked thanks to seeing a poster with children doing programming on laptops. Dreaming of having the possibility to use electronic-devices even for a short-strictly purposed time, my begging was successful and my mum signed me up. I really loved spending time on building, programming and running those robots.
I can see why Betsy had to make some cuts - when I was her age, having few intensive extracurricular activites plus participating in many knowledge competitions I sadly had to give up the hiking circle - I felt too exhaused after each week to spend several Saturdays in the mountains, despite that it meant doing little to no chores.
"(...) likes hanging out at home and doing nothing" - I was like that too. Yay for introverts!
Sailing sounds like an an amazing extra curricular activity. We're too landlocked to have anything like that around here. Did you live up to your "singing Mozart" billing? Those are some big shoes to fill.
Not really, I didn't stick for long after that. I felt no pleasure from singing in that choir, only pressure and stress. I may have wasted my talent, but at the time I didn't see that gift in me and was feeling relieved from getting dad's permission to quit.
My younger son tried a couple of sports, and didn't enjoy it like his brother did. He went into music and Boy Scouts and thrived. He still carries his Eagle Scout card.
Clicking with your troop/den is important. I really could be the lack of kids her age. Maybe insist some school friends to join with her? Evil, I know. But Waffle would be happy 😊
My son quit after the den leaders wife told him that his parents should be involved too. He came home crying. I have had 37 surgeries in the last 20 yrs, was working at the elementary school and being able to move at night was not in the cards. It wasn't like he was just dropped off, his best friend's dad took them both every week. I was beyond pissed (apparently still am LOL)
I'm glad you're the kind of dad who, despite what you try to portray, actually loves and talks to his kids. And I'm glad Waffle went back to scouts. I'm big on staying home and doing nothing, too, but scouts are cool.
OHHH sore spot for me here. I played sports growing up and hated those kids whose parents just let them drop the sport, including my Nephew. My nephew learned he could just quit if the going got tough and has carried that into adult hood. Not saying it happens to everyone, but please make them play out the season of whatever it is because teams can not get new players after the start of the season.