My dog is quite old and will not make it forever. My kids are aware of this fact. To console themselves, they ponder what we'll do for our next pet when he goes. They don't want another dog. They want to replace him with a pig. This makes sense. I've largely brainwashed them as part of my project to ruin their lives and make them incapable of functioning in society. This is damage that will last down through the generations.
Also, pigs seem fun when you're not the one who has to clean up when they cause chaos. That's my job. The kids are good at detecting when there's a pig emergency. Generally though, they're not strong enough to stop the pigs. If a pig latches onto something, good luck prying it off if that something is food. I remember I saw one of those British period pieces where some pigs break into a cabbage patch and some young women casually shoo the pigs out of there. That's not at all what would've happened if you were in a cabbage patch with some pigs. That …
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